Bored to Porn Addiction

Bored to Death - 3D renderMaybe “Bored to death” is an exaggeration but “bored to addiction” may not be so far from the truth!

To the uninitiated it seems unlikely that such a mundane feeling as boredom could lead to a life changing problem as an addiction. However, feelings and emotions are often at the root of an addiction. Ignoring feelings can inhibit a person from overcome their addiction. Read: Clint Eastwood Versus Richard Simmons. Let’s discuss an emotion that does not get the attention it deserves, let’s talk about “boredom.”

Boredom is the “B” in TROUBLED (Learn about the TROUBLED acronym). Boredom is one of the leading indicators in predicting if a teen will abuse substances. From the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University a survey found that:

“Often bored” teenagers were 50% more likely to get drunk, drink, smoke and use illegal drugs than “not often bored” teenagers. http://www.casacolumbia.org/newsroom/press-releases/2003-teen-survey

With most addictions forming in the teenage years it stands to suspect that similar results would be the case for abusing internet pornography.

In the RAMP Solution to Porn addiction you will learn the acronym RAMP. RAMP stands for Reconize, Action, Modify and Praise. The “M” in RAMP is designed specifically to allow one to find solutions to boredom by finding Modifying behaviors. Modifying behaviors which are in essences hobbies and activities.

Finding Modifying behaviors is not only important in quitting porn addiction but it is also important in preventing a relapse. Jane St. Clair of the CRC Health Group writes:

What these studies tell us is that it is not enough for substance abusers just to go through chemical withdrawal from drugs or alcohol and then go back to their lives as usual. Substance abusers need to develop a set of new leisure pursuits while they are in rehabilitation or else they will relapse when they leave their substance abuse treatment centers and return to their old environments. The most effective treatment programs help clients find new interests, hobbies and new career paths. Stress-reducing activities, such as sports and yoga, are also helpful. Some studies show that the more a treatment program is individualized to a client’s interests and personality, the more likely he is to remain abstinent on a permanent basis. Taking classes in yoga, scuba diving and art therapy may seem impractical to outsiders or to clients in a hurry to return to work, but they can be vital components of comprehensive treatment. http://www.crchealth.com/addiction/drug-addiction-rehab/drug-addiction-rehab-2/home-2/drug_addiction/boredom-substance-abuse-a-dangerous-combination/

If you are having problems with abusing internet porn; try the RAMP Solution to porn addiction.

Here is an interesting video on boredom: 

The Ultimate New Years Resolution 2014: Freedom from Porn

Amazing silhouette of man jumping at sunset toward 2014The western world is celebrating the new year. As always this is the time that many people begin to plan for the New Year and make New Year’s Resolutions.

As always you could pick on of these typical New Year’s Resolutions provided by the US Goverment:

Lose Weight
Volunteer to Help Others
Quit Smoking
Get a Better Education
Get a Better Job
Save Money
Get Fit
Eat Healthy Food
Manage Stress
Manage Debt
Take a Trip
Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle
Drink Less Alcohol

Or you could try the ultimate New Year’s Resolution: Quitting pornography and create a porn free life.

For many of you the compulsion to view porn on a daily basis was formed in the teen years and has carried over into adulthood. Pornography and masturbation limits a person’s sexual desires. Read: Man Wants to Divorce Wife so He Can Watch Porn for a list of problems causes by porn. If you’re watching porn on a daily you will most likely relate to some of the listed problems.

Try a New Years Resolution that will change you for the rest of your life. Try the RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction. The timing is perfect for a New Years Resolution with an expectation of being porn free within 8 months, Read: How Long Does it Take to Quit Porn Addiction? By the end of the year you could create lasting change that will affect your life and forever.

It is time for you to feel the sexual desires that you were supposed to feel. Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich has a chapter dedicated to the transmutation of sexual desire. The book describes how the use of sexual desire can cause one to experience greater knowledge than would otherwise be possible. However, this knowledge is not possible while you use this sexual desire for “less worthy outlets” like porn and masturbation.

From Chapter 11 of Think and Grow Rich:

A river may be dammed, and its water controlled for a time, but eventually, it will force an outlet. The same is true of the emotion of sex. It may be submerged and controlled for a time, but its very nature causes it to be ever seeking means of expression. If it is not transmuted into some creative effort it will find a less worthy outlet.

You can get this great book for your kindle for just 99 cents at Amazon. Start with Chapter 11 which is dedicated to the transmutation of sexual energy. After reading that chapter, there will be no doubt of the power that sexual desire have in your new life. The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction can free your sexual desire from the trap of porn and masturbation. Read: Sexual Desires: Essential to an Enjoyable Life.

Quitting porn will also allow you to focus on hobbies and activities that would often fall under the typical New Years Resolutions. RAMP is an acronym that can help you quit porn for good. Read: The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction a Brief Overview. The “M” in RAMP stands for Modify. You will learn how to modify your activities to allow your mind to escape from the brain chemicals that are released from viewing porn. One of the most power activities in creating a new porn free brain is exercise. Read: Exercise the Atomic Bomb in the War Against the Limbic System.

So that is why quitting porn is the ultimate New Year’s Resolution for 2014 because it will often include the typical resolutions you are already considering. Why not give your typical resolutions a kick in the butt this year and give yourself extra reason why this year is the year to achieve a new life.

Try the START HERE page for more posts on how to quit porn.

How to Have Wet Dreams A.K.A Nocturnal Emissions

Man Asleep in bed

Perhaps one of the most enjoyable benefits of being free from porn and free from masturbation is the benefit of wet dreams. Wet dreams, also called Nocturnal Emissions by the medical community, can produce very vivid and memorable dreams. They can give you insights into your subconscious and how it relates to sexuality. You can experience sexual situations that you would never have in real life. These experiences are brought to you from your subconscious and are generated from questions you have about life and about your own sexuality. Wet dreams allow you to learn more about yourself and what interests you from a perspective that would otherwise be unknown to you.

The reality of wet dreams is something that cannot be matched by watching porn and masturbating. In a dream the lines of reality and dream word are blurred. The brain has a very hard time distinguishing between what is vividly imagined and what is reality. Dreams are the best way to present the brain with vivid imaginations of something that is not real.

Nothing shuts up the Limbic System like a wet dream. When you get to the point where you achieve wet dreams then you can rest assured that the brain no longer needs the addiction of porn. However, it can take a month or two of no masturbation or sex to flip the mind’s switch to wet dreams.

How to have a wet dream:

1)      It may take a month without having an ejaculation (no masturbation or sex) for your mind to switch over and utilize wet dreams. To learn how to get away from porn and masturbation get the RAMP Solution to porn addiction.

2)      Have a normal sleep pattern, a set schedule that you sleep every day. Also, if you need an alarm to get up then you should try either getting to bed earlier or sleeping in later. Alarms are great for getting you to set a sleep pattern but they shouldn’t used on a daily basis. If you are relying on an alarm to wake you up every day then you need to figure out a way to get more sleep.

3)      Learn how to control your dreams.

a)       Keep a dream journal to train your mind being to remember dreams more vividly.

b)      Remembering dreams will make them more vivid

c)       Take vitamins to help you have more vivid dreams a sleep deeper. Not necessary but they can speed up the processes for some people. (Links are to Amazon.com)

i)      Vitamin B-6

ii)     Alpha GPC

iii)    5-HTP

iv)    Choline Bitartrate

v)      Fish Oil Concentrate

vi)    Melatonin

d)      Read suggested books below.

4)      Be able to tolerate some blue balls as your body works out its natural rhythm and begins to have wet dreams

5)      Enjoy wet dreams.

Have patience with wet dreams. If you have not had wet dreams in years it could take a month or maybe two for your mind to switch over to wet dreams. If you stay clear of masturbation your body will be forced to have wet dreams.

If you are working on your porn addiction you can also start working on controlling your dreams at the same time. So when you are ready you can make the transition into wet dreams very quickly. It is very helpful to know when you are dreaming. I personally have had many dreams that I could have had a wet dream but instead of going through with the sex I abstained because I thought it was real life. If you know you are dream then you will not have that problem. Controlling your dreams is not absolute control. The situations you will have in your dreams are ones that you could not have normally not even day dreaming. However, you can control how you react in the dream and make some changes to how things proceed.

It will be virtually impossible for you to become addicted to sleep and wet dreams because of the lack of absolute control. You won’t be able to control if that night will be the night you have a wet dream and that will keep your Limbic System from becoming overactive again. You may look forward to sleep and wet dreams but the addiction will not form (Read: Can I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams?).

Don’t think that you have to take the vitamins. The list of vitamins is only there if you need extra help or to help you have more vivid dreams. They are not a must. Try having lucid dreams without them and if you are having trouble then start experimenting with vitamins. Or even after you start having lucid dreams you might want to experiment with some of the vitamins to see if they can help you have more vivid dreams. Most of the vitamins are to help brain function so they could also be useful while you rewire your brain to quit porn. However, do not think that in any way that you need to have them to rewire your brain. You do not need them, you can do it naturally for sure.

And of course, wet dreams can be incredibly useful at relieving the pain of blue balls. Often you will feel the discomfort of blue balls before a wet dream is due, so hang in there. When you get into a rhythm your body will not allow the pain of blue balls to become too extreme without having a wet dream to relieve the pain. You will get to the point of mild discomfort though.

If you need more details on how to control your dreams try reading:

Or this more affordable book for your kind app:

Enjoy wet dreams. When you have a wet dream you should be on top of the world. You have achieved a great feat. You have officially cast aside porn and no longer need porn to cycle through sperm. Your brain has found a more natural and fulfilling way to clean out old sperm. Don’t let anything bring you down. No speeding ticket, no rejection from girls, no hassle from work can bring you down when you have a wet dream that morning.

Now go out there and start creating the life you were meant to live: a porn free life!

 

Easier to Quit Porn All the Way

happy young businessman on spring field

It will be easier for you to give up porn and masturbation completely than to have one day off a week or some other type of arrangement where you justify having a relapse.

The reason is that the brain, and more specifically, the Limbic System views porn as the holy grail, the fountain of youth, the jackpot for procreation (Read: Why Haven’t I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams). The Limbic System believes that through porn it can solve every and all problems that you may have throughout your lifetime. The addiction is powerful and some who have been addicted to other things like alcohol and drugs have called pornography the hardest of addictions to quit. Part of that difficulty is due to porn’s availability (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit; The Triple-A Engine).

Given the power of this brain wiring it will be extremely difficult if not impossible to keep this wiring active and not have it consume you. If you have experienced porn addiction then you know the consuming fire that is the addiction.

It will be better for you to completely eliminate the desire for porn. Let me explain: you can eliminate the desire for porn but keep alive the desire for women and sex. This is possible through channeling the desire for porn and sex into another activity. This is the transmutation of sexual energy (Read: Sexual Desire: Essential to an Enjoyable Life).

This is one of those things were the cliché is true: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t have the brain wiring for the addiction and not be addicted. The wiring needs to be completely eliminated for you to have relief from the addiction.

Now if you chose to have a relapse then I advise you to keep that relapse short in time frame. Anything longer than a couple weeks is very damaging to your brain and could put you in a very serious relapse and back into the addiction. Also, limiting the type of porn would also be helpful in your recovery from your relapse. The best solution is to never have a relapse and to have Modifying Activities that are fulfilling enough to keep you from desiring a relapse.

If you have a relapse after experiencing a recovery, know that it is easier to regain the addiction free wiring since you have already experienced what a porn free life is like. Recovery will be much faster and easier since you already know the steps on how to get to recovery.

You will never feel happy after a slip. The joy you are seeking will not be achieved from pornography as you already know. Use your slips as a reminder that happiness cannot be achieved through watching porn. Learn from your mistakes and move on to activities that do bring you happiness.

Now go out there and live porn free so that you can live the life you were meant to live.

Top 3 Excuses Porn Addicts Use to Stay Addicted

No excuse pen and paper

Do you use these excuses? Do you know someone who does? Let’s analyze these excuses and how they hold you back from living a porn free life.

1. All men watch pornography. Boys will be boys.

2. Pornography doesn’t affect me.

3. It’s impossible to quit. I’ve already tried.

In order to start the recovery one must admit that something is wrong. That the addiction is getting in the way of living life. This is not as easy as it may sound.

A drug addict or an alcoholic can get to a physical breaking point where the body simply cannot take in more drugs or alcohol. The body does not have such a breaking point with porn. Therefore it allows most porn addicted people to be high functioning addicts, meaning that the addict can hold down a job or go to school. The affects of porn are subtle with things like lack of confidence, being tired due to lack of sleep and being moody. These can be overlooked as just bad character traits by those around the addicted person and the porn addiction can be hidden.

Where a drug addict or an alcoholic can have family and friends step in and encourage recovery, a porn addicted person is less likely to have this happen. Perhaps a girlfriend or wife would be in a position to discover the addiction but outside of these very intimate relationships a porn addicted person does not have much encouragement to seek recovery. It many instances and in many ways it is up to the addicted person themselves to seek help.

Having excuses can keep a porn addict person in their addiction indefinitely. These excuses will keep someone from truly experience what a porn free life is like. Holding them from experience the joy life has to offer. Let’s now examine these excuses:

1. All men watch pornography. Boys will be boys.

Most good excuses have an element of truth to them. It is true that a problem with porn addiction is the pervasiveness at which pornography is viewed. It is estimated that 87% of men (aged 18-26) and 31% of females (aged 18-26) reported using pornography. Additionally, 67% of the young men and 49% of the young women believed viewing pornography as acceptable (Generation XXX Pornography Acceptance and Use Among Emerging Adults).

However, not all men look at porn. And it wasn’t this way in the past. Men did not look at as much porn as they do today. A big reason for this is the Triple-A Engine of the internet (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit: the Triple-A Engine). To confront this excuse you need to focus on what you are missing out on in life. One of the biggest complaints from porn addiction is the lack of confidence and the lack of the ability to talk to women. Another major complaint from porn addicts is the lack of desire to have sex even leading to erectile dysfunction. These might not be your major complaints but there is some aspect of your life that is not being fulfilled because the addiction is getting in the way. Focus on this/these issues to get over the excuse that “everyone does it.”

2. Pornography doesn’t affect me.

Another limiting feature of the porn addicted person is the age at which he/she is exposed to pornography. With most being exposed to pornography between the ages of 14 and 17, it is very possible that people with pornography addiction have never experienced post puberty without being addicted to porn. This would limit what their ability to know what a normal life should be like with no real reference of what a porn free life is like (University of New Hampshire: The Nature and Dynamics of Internet Pornography Exposure for Youth).

If you think pornography addiction does not affect you, it might be because you have never lived post-puberty without being addicted to porn. You have no idea what a porn free life is like and you have no reference to compare your current life to a porn free life. Ask yourself how long you have been looking at porn and when the addiction started. For the vast majority, this addiction started in the teen years. If this is true for you, consider that you really do not have a reference point to really know how porn has affected your life.

It is very unlikely that porn addiction has not affected your life. Below is a chart that shows how pornography exposure correlates to changes in sexual attitudes.

Increased exposure to pornography does correlate with changes in sexual attitudes:

Exposure and sexual attitudes chart Exposure to Sexually Explicit Web Sites and Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors

3. It’s impossible to quit. I’ve already tried.

Like always, there is a bit of truth to this excuse. If you have been addicted since your teen years and your now in your adulthood, you probably have tried to quit dozens of times. Every time you tried to quit you were met with failure.  It is impossible to quit porn if you don’t know how to do it. If your idea of quitting porn is to focus on the porn then you will fail every time. If you are telling yourself “stop looking at porn.” What your brain really hears is “look at porn.” Focusing on the porn will not be successful (Read: How to Talk to Your Mind).

You need to learn how the game is being played in your mind. You need to learn strategies and activities you can do to work with your mind to heal it. Once you heal your mind you will then have the choice to look at porn or not look at porn. After you consistently choose not to look at porn the addiction will leave you. The overwhelming need to look at porn, the triggers, will not be felt or if they are felt they will be seldom and they desire weaker and manageable. You need to learn about your mind. You need to know who the real enemy is. Once you have a game plan you can then execute the game plan and start winning the addiction. As always, it is recommended that you try the RAMP Solution to porn addiction to get the game plan you need to start winning.

Thanks for reading. Now go out there and start living a porn free life.

 

 

How Long Does It Take to Quit Porn Addiction?

Clock Tower in Paris

The RAMP Solution has a target goal of 8 months for porn recovery. This might seem excessive for some, and it very might well be. However, there is an advantage to those who are prepared for the long haul. For example, if it takes you 4 months or 6 months to heal from your addiction are you at all worse off if you were planning on taking 8 months to recover? The answer is no.

However let’s consider the opposite. What if you were planning on recovering taking only 2 months and you’re now 3 months into your recovery still suffering from powerful triggers (maybe triggers with contradicting beliefs attached to them). There is a very real possibility that the person will think the program is failing him/her and that it’s not working. This can cause to someone giving up.

It is very possible that it will take 10 months to overcome the addiction. This will be very true for the casual user which I imagine will make up the bulk of users. Let’s face it, most of us have a lot of different commitments we have to keep and sometimes we don’t always focus on things we need to do to better ourselves. The casual user will listen to the audio maybe once a month and may even take a month off but will then re-commit to program. Even the casual user will notice significant gains in 8 months. Most likely they will have Modifying Behaviors to meet the needs of some of his/her TROUBLED feelings, thereby defeating certain triggers (Read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED). Once someone has beaten (and realizes that they have beaten) two or three triggers there will be proof that the program will eventually lead to complete recovery. Keeping a journal is one of the most powerful ways to documenting when a trigger has been beaten. (Read: Keep a Journal)

Another factor, beside commitment to the program, is how long you have been addicted. If you have been addicted for decades then you will most likely take more time in rewiring your brain than someone who has been addicted for a few months. And probably a key factor to that statistic is this question: Have you had testosterone in your veins while not being addicted to porn? So many of us were exposed to porn at such a young age that we never had a brain that had testosterone and that was porn free. Or in other words, we have never had brain wiring that was free from pornography while we were maturing into adulthood. The Limbic System will use this fact to try and stall and draw out the recovery process. It will “say” to the other parts of the brain that it cannot be sure if this new brain wiring is safe and that we will be able to survive with the new brain wiring. Remember that the Limbic System’s primary goal is survival (Read: Brain Changes Shape – Steps to Recovery). If you developed your pornography addiction later in life you will find that reverting back to your old wiring is much easier than creating that brain wiring from scratch.

Let’s face it, just like there is no pill to lose weight or get ripped muscles, there is no pill to rewire your brain. With both losing weight and building muscle you also need time. Just like it takes months to grow muscles, it will take months to rewire your brain. The difference is to lose weight it is a simple equation of (energy spent – energy consumed = weight gain or weight loss). To grow muscles you know you need to lift weights. Assortment of different colored pills

But where do you go for brain wiring? First off, most of us when we tried to quit porn alone focused on the porn being the problem. We did not focus on the brain as being the problem. Not knowing that the enemy is an overactive Limbic System caused us to lose the battle automatically (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are). Now that you know that you need to focus on the brain, you need to find a program that will help train you to heal your brain. And again, you will need months to rewire the brain.

For brain rewiring and learning how to quit porn there is the RAMP Solution to porn addiction. It is in audio format which makes it incredible convenient. Listen to it on your way to work when you have your brain free to think. Through the program you will learn effective strategies and activities to heal the brain.

Remember to have fun with rewiring the brain. Learning what excites you and what hobbies you have can be very entertaining. Just like playing sports and changing your exercise routines can keep you engaged and having fun and more likely to complete your fitness goals; it is important to have fun with brain rewiring.

Now go out there and start making brain changes so you can live porn free!

Brain Changes Shape – Steps to Recovery

Brain lifting weightsIf you are familiar with AA meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous) then you are probably familiar with the phrase, “once an addict always an addict.”

This phrase can be overly simplest for something that is complex. It is used to describe a process that has many stages and this simple phrase is not complete and at times is not accurate.

Stages of Recovery

Addicted Person: When someone is an addict they have cravings that are difficult nigh impossible to control.

In-Recovery: Next is someone who is battling the addiction. They have acknowledged the addiction and are now taking steps to recover and allow the brain to heal. This process takes months.

Pre-recovered: Then there is pre-recovered were the person has won back their ability to choose to follow through with a trigger or not. The person sometimes chooses to do their Modifying Behavior and other time chooses to go through with the trigger and the addiction.

Recovered/Maintenance Mode: When the person finally chooses to consistently do their Modifying Behavior the person then becomes recovered from the addiction and goes into Maintenance Mode. Maintenance Mode is where you become more proactive. If you feel bored you do something about it right away. You are no longer looking or needing triggers to get you off the couch and doing your Modifying Activities. You’re continually doing your Modifying Activities just out of routine and habit. This is true recovery and Maintenance Mode.

 

Now as we go through this process of recovery the brain literally changes shape. The folds of the brain change shape. Not all of them but the part of the brain that is strengthening and the part of the brain that is weakening will change shape. This is neuroplasticity or brain plasticity.

Neuroplasticity/Brain Plasticity: refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses which are due to changes in behavior, environment and neural processes, as well as changes resulting from bodily injury (Wikipedia: Neuroplasticity).

That brings us back to the original phrase, “once an addict always an addict.” Is this really true after the brain has literally reformed to a brain that is no longer addicted? When the cravings for porn are manageable and controllable is one still an addict?

The answer is probably “no.” There is little that resembles the actions of an addict including the shape and wiring of the brain.

However, what does ring true to the phrase “once an addict always and addict.” Is that the wiring has happened and could happen again. Relapses are real. The Limbic System can become overactive again if it is allowed to do so by the Frontal Lobe. Also, it is important that the recovered person realize that the addiction can reform an addiction to a different substance. Once having been addicted to porn it should be realized that addictions to alcohol or drugs could form quickly if the person consumes those chemicals. This would be another aspect of the “once an addict always and addict” which is the propensity in which a new and novel addiction can be formed.

If you do slip into a relapse, do not think all is lost. It is not. If you have made it to recovery your brain has found none addiction, brain circuitry that is acceptable not only to the Frontal Lobe but more importantly to the Limbic System. It will be much easier for the Limbic System to accept this circuitry again since it knows it can survive with this brain circuitry.  Remember that the Limbic System’s main goal is survival (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

The brain is very similar to muscles. You might have experienced what some people call “muscle memory.” If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is the idea that if you work out and reach a certain strength that if you stop working out and let yourself go for while, upon returning to working out your muscles will have a rapid growth to where they once were in size. So if it took you 6 months to get to a certain fitness level, and then you stopped working out for a period of time, it won’t take you 6 months to get to your previous fitness level but maybe just a month or two. This is the idea of “muscle memory.”

The brain is the same way. It can bounce back to prior wiring and circuitry than if it was trying to make up the circuitry from scratch. The brain molecules already are familiar with the routine and can reshape and realign themselves to their previous configuration. So if you get to recovery and have a slip, recovery will be much quicker to obtain than when you went through recovery for the first time.

If you have a relapse just know you have to keep up with Maintenance Mode more often and double up on your Modifying Behaviors. Make your Modifying Behaviors daily habits so you don’t have a relapse in the future.

Remember a porn free life is a better life. Really start to live by living porn free!

Imagining Pornstars as Sisters, Daughters or Mothers Does NOT Cure Porn Addiction

Synapse in human neural system

In my youth I was told by well meaning people from church that a good way to avoid porn is to realize that the women in porn are someone’s sister, someone’s daughter or someone’s mother. “What if that was your sister, daughter or mother on the monitor? Would you watch porn then?”

Now I must emphasis that the intention of those who taught this was well meaning, however, the results of their action was lacking. Of course they did not know how pornography addiction works. They didn’t know about the reward mechanism of the brain. They didn’t know about the Limbic System and how it functions and its role in forming a porn addiction.

The Limbic System does not feel sympathy. Its sole exists is to accomplish one basic need: the need for survival. That basic need also includes procreation which in essence is a form of survival. It does this with releasing chemicals in the brain that rewards behavior which it deems as “good.” So if you eat something sugary it will release pleasure chemicals telling you to eat more. Because if you have sugar in your blood you will have energy to run away from something that would potentially end your life. If you eat something fatty then it rewards you because it will believes you can then store that extra fat for when you don’t have food. You’ll have fat reserves to keep you alive during times of famine.

The highest release of chemicals happens during sex. The Limbic System believes that through sex your genetics will be passed on to offspring. Offspring will allow you, in a removed form, to continue living. Creating offspring is the ultimate form of survival, a type of survival with potentially no end. It is logical that the Limbic System would save its best and highest chemical release for procreation (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

Does the Limbic System care about sympathy? Does it feel regret? Does it feel embarrassment? No! Those feelings don’t have meaning when survival is on the line. The circuitry for those feelings is not in the Limbic System.

So if you are looking at porn and you try and think that the actress is your sister, your daughter or your mother it will not stop the Limbic System from releasing chemicals. It will not stop the desire to watch porn. In fact it might increase the possibility of causing an abnormal addiction. The Limbic System is going to go ahead and release the chemicals while circuitry in the brain that is responsible for sympathy, regret and embarrassment and whatever other emotions not normally associated with sex are fired off. When brain circuitry not normally used during sex goes off while the Limbic System is releasing chemicals these parts of the brain will not know what hit them. It is not normal for the area of the brain that feels regret to fire off while being engulfed by the Limbic System’s chemicals. This can cause abnormalities in the sexual desires of the individual and increase the probability of an addiction forming.

It is not unheard of for someone who has a history of watching porn to begin to watch porn that is not of their natural sexual orientation. This can be very troubling to the individual because they will not understand why their porn preference has changed and no longer match their sexual orientation. This might have started because of the abnormality stated above. If the brain begins to associate the feeling of regret with chemical release of procreation, this association could eventually cause this abnormality of porn not matching the individual’s sexual orientation.

The solution to porn addiction is to work with the brain and help the Limbic System heal. During a porn addiction the Limbic System becomes over reactive. The goal is to let the Limbic System heal so that it does not over react to life. There by allow you to live porn free.

The brain is incredibly elastic. It literally can change its shape and form. It is the truest form of “Mind over Matter.” Your thoughts can actually move matter in your brain. Anything that has been created through porn can be undone. Never give up hope. If you are determined you can heal yourself. I offer the RAMP Solution as your first step to creating this change. Through the RAMP Solution you will learn about your brain and then learn effective strategies and activities to heal your brain.

Jesus Tempted with Lust

Jesus and children - engraving by Lepold Flumeng from early in 20. cent.Before I begin, I want to clarify that the RAMP Solution to porn addiction is not religious based meaning that the RAMP Solution does not cure porn addiction with prayer or scripture study. The RAMP Solution teaches how the brain became addicted and then gives effective strategies and activities to help heal the brain and thereby cure the addiction.

However, it cannot be ignored that those who are religious will most likely have a higher propensity for porn addiction (read: Religion’s Duality: How it Causes and Cures Porn Addiction). For those that are religious I give you this topic to consider: Jesus felt lust and was tempted to misuse lust.

Now there is no scripture to validate the statement that Jesus experienced lust but I give you these scriptures to consider:

St. Luke Chapter 4:2-7, 13

2 Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

3 And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread.

4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

5 And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.

6 And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it.

7 If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine.

13 And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.

I’ve never fasted for 40 days so I would not know how hungry that would make someone. However, I have been without food for a few days. And after about the second or third day the body stops craving food. As long as you keep drinking water the body will begin to slow the metabolism.

If Satan was willing to use bread as a temptation, it would seem that lust would be a temptation that Satan would use to tempt Jesus. It might have been included in the glory of the kingdoms of the world, or when Satan returned to Jesus after a season. But I am convinced that at some point in time Jesus was tempted with lust.

The desire for food is a basic one and one that can make one grumpy and irritable (Read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED), but I would definitely not call it a desire that defines me or causes significant changes in behavior. A more defining desire is the desire to be intimate with a woman. The desire of lust is much more defining and can cause great changes in my behavior. Lust, when properly used, is good. It is a defining feature of manhood (Read: Sexual Desire: essential to an Enjoyable Life). If Jesus felt hunger which is a very basic and animalistic desire, how much greater and important is the desire of lust? Jesus begin “the son of man” must have felt such a defining desire as lust.

When I first thought this, I wondered if it was blasphemy to think that Jesus felt the desire of sexual intimacy. But as my understanding of how defining lust is for men, I don’t think this is contradictory to perfection. The desire for sexual intimacy is not a sin or a curse but a blessing. When this desire is used correctly it can be a source of great power and a source of revelation. It gets us out the door and challenges us to become greater. It can pick us up and challenge us to try again. It builds us and turns us from boy to man.

From the perspective of Satan, what would be more debilitating to man than to take away his desire for true intimacy? What would be better than to have men hate their desire for sex, if you desire the destruction of man? Porn is the perfect destroyer of lust. When you are caught up with porn it takes your confidence away. Porn twists lust from a blessing to a curse (Read: Man Wants to Divorce Wife so He Can Watch Porn). Good Shepherd - old lithography

If you think it is blasphemy to think that Jesus felt lust. I would challenge you to reconsider what lust truly is or can be. I know from my own experience being raised in a somewhat religious household, that there was a negative connotation to lust and sexual desire. This was done in a way to protect me from the dangers of unbridled lust or the misuse of lust. However, the execution and the results were negative. Sexual desire cannot be damned up; it must be focused and guided. To try and ignore it or to try and stop it completely will result in failure. Focusing it and harnessing it is the solution.

If you are currently caught up in pornography, I would say you most likely have a negative connotation to lust. On your journey to healing your mind, you will need to change your attitude towards sexual desires. When you are healed from your addiction there will inevitably be times when you stumble across pornography by accident. With a heal mind that lacks the addiction you will be able to recognize the beauty of pornography but will not view it. Instead you will be able to reshape and refocus the desire to view pornography with activities that make you greater to your Modifying Behaviors. The desire to view pornography will be recognized as a desire that can be reshaped and refocused to your benefit.

In closing, please don’t think that the RAMP Solution is based in religion. It is not. You do not have to be religious to use its solution to porn addiction. The brief mention of religious topics is not meant to offend or exclude people from the RAMP Solution. However, it would be short sited not to bring the topic up as many of those who do get caught up with porn will do so from a religious context. Religion often tries to scare people from porn and this tactic can actually draw the curiosity of the religious.

Live life like never before by living porn free!

The Coolidge Effect

Calvin-Coolidge_The Coolidge Effect_Porn Free_cropedThis is a very interesting phenomenon of the brain’s wiring for sex. It is believed to be in most if not all mammals which include humans.

The idea is that a male who has had sex with a partner will have less desire to copulate again with the same female, that the male will reach a state of being “sexual satiated” after sex. However, if that same male is introduced to another female, the male will have a renewed desire to copulate even if he was just in a state of being “sexually satiated.” This is due to a spike or increase in dopamine levels in the brain from a new partner.

In the years of survival, tens and hundreds of thousands of years ago this programming would have been beneficial. Males would have been able to mate with more females and have a decreased desire to mate with the same female. Having offspring with different females would allow for an increased chance of survival for the offspring.

Coolidge Effect is all about the Limbic System. The desire to mate with different females is inherent in male wiring. The Limbic System will reward mating with a new female more than mating with the same female.

However, in modern society the effects of the Coolidge effect now have a negative effect on offspring. No longer is survival in the wilderness a major concern for offspring. Now western societies often give advantages to children who come from a two parent home. This is evident in statistics that show children of two parent households are more likely to become college educated and have higher incomes than children who come from single parent home. What are other areas of advantage?

Additionally, this wiring of our brains can cause havoc with porn addiction. With internet porn there is close to a limitless variety of images of different woman. This can call up the Coolidge effect where we feel a renewed sexual desire when viewing a novel female. (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit; the Triple-A Engine)

Have you experienced the Coolidge Effect?

  •  Have you ever been able to climax multiple times in a short time span by looking at different pornstars?
  • Are you able to look at porn for a longer period of time than you’re able to have sex?
  • Ever found the “perfect” pornstar in your estimations only to quickly lose interest and moved on to other pornstars?
  • Ever chose to look at porn instead of having real sex with your partner?
  • Ever had to think of porn in order to have an orgasm while having sex?

If you have experienced one or more of these events then you were probably experienced the Coolidge Effect.

The Frontal Lobe can be used to rein in the Limbic System and control the Coolidge Effect. The Frontal Lobe is what has given rise to modern human achievements. It is what has created our modern society. As written above our modern society will now punish those that succumb to the Coolidge Effect. If a male has offspring with multiple partners, he will most likely not have the resources or the time to raise them properly. Those offspring will most likely become statistics of the poor advantages of single parent households.

The Frontal Lobe has created this environment where the Coolidge Effect is now a negative type of wiring if not controlled or used properly. It is fitting that the Frontal Lobe will also be able to overpower the Limbic System and allow one to not use the Coolidge Effect negatively. The Frontal Lobe can be trained to overcome the triggers caused by an overactive Limbic System. (Read: The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction: A Brief Overview)

While we have talked about the disadvantages of the Coolidge Effect, we should also talk about the advantages of the Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect will allow a man to live with a woman without forming an addiction to her (Read: Why Haven’t I Become Addicted to Sex Or Wet Dreams?). Without the Coolidge Effect a man would never be sexually satisfied. Needing sex constantly and for endless hours would get old for most females very quickly. The fact that the Coolidge Effect will cause lower levels of dopamine to be released when matting with the same female, in many ways, is a good thing. The institution of marriage and long term pair bonding is possible due to the Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect when having sex with the same female will allow for a man to be “sexually satiated.” This is a good thing. (Read: Sexual Desires: Essential to an Enjoyable Life)Calvin_Coolidge_The Coolidge Effect_Porn Free

Some might think it would be nice to manipulate this wiring in the brain and have endless amounts of sex with different females. But are you ever satisfied with porn? Have you really reached that moment of being “sexually satiated” with porn? Most likely the answer is no. Porn leaves one feeling hollow and without purpose. It takes away a man’s confidence and charisma with women. (Read: Man Wants to Divorce Wife so He Can Watch Porn)

Don’t think of the Coolidge Effect as negative wiring. We have the Frontal Lobe to control this wiring and the Frontal Lobe has created a system were advantage is given to long term pair bonding. This long term pair bonding in humans is possible because of the Coolidge Effect. It is to be celebrated and not feared.

For more information on the Coolidge Effect see this article: http://www.jneurosci.org/content/17/12/4849.full

Watch this video about the Coolidge Effect: The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow