How to Have Wet Dreams A.K.A Nocturnal Emissions

Man Asleep in bed

Perhaps one of the most enjoyable benefits of being free from porn and free from masturbation is the benefit of wet dreams. Wet dreams, also called Nocturnal Emissions by the medical community, can produce very vivid and memorable dreams. They can give you insights into your subconscious and how it relates to sexuality. You can experience sexual situations that you would never have in real life. These experiences are brought to you from your subconscious and are generated from questions you have about life and about your own sexuality. Wet dreams allow you to learn more about yourself and what interests you from a perspective that would otherwise be unknown to you.

The reality of wet dreams is something that cannot be matched by watching porn and masturbating. In a dream the lines of reality and dream word are blurred. The brain has a very hard time distinguishing between what is vividly imagined and what is reality. Dreams are the best way to present the brain with vivid imaginations of something that is not real.

Nothing shuts up the Limbic System like a wet dream. When you get to the point where you achieve wet dreams then you can rest assured that the brain no longer needs the addiction of porn. However, it can take a month or two of no masturbation or sex to flip the mind’s switch to wet dreams.

How to have a wet dream:

1)      It may take a month without having an ejaculation (no masturbation or sex) for your mind to switch over and utilize wet dreams. To learn how to get away from porn and masturbation get the RAMP Solution to porn addiction.

2)      Have a normal sleep pattern, a set schedule that you sleep every day. Also, if you need an alarm to get up then you should try either getting to bed earlier or sleeping in later. Alarms are great for getting you to set a sleep pattern but they shouldn’t used on a daily basis. If you are relying on an alarm to wake you up every day then you need to figure out a way to get more sleep.

3)      Learn how to control your dreams.

a)       Keep a dream journal to train your mind being to remember dreams more vividly.

b)      Remembering dreams will make them more vivid

c)       Take vitamins to help you have more vivid dreams a sleep deeper. Not necessary but they can speed up the processes for some people. (Links are to Amazon.com)

i)      Vitamin B-6

ii)     Alpha GPC

iii)    5-HTP

iv)    Choline Bitartrate

v)      Fish Oil Concentrate

vi)    Melatonin

d)      Read suggested books below.

4)      Be able to tolerate some blue balls as your body works out its natural rhythm and begins to have wet dreams

5)      Enjoy wet dreams.

Have patience with wet dreams. If you have not had wet dreams in years it could take a month or maybe two for your mind to switch over to wet dreams. If you stay clear of masturbation your body will be forced to have wet dreams.

If you are working on your porn addiction you can also start working on controlling your dreams at the same time. So when you are ready you can make the transition into wet dreams very quickly. It is very helpful to know when you are dreaming. I personally have had many dreams that I could have had a wet dream but instead of going through with the sex I abstained because I thought it was real life. If you know you are dream then you will not have that problem. Controlling your dreams is not absolute control. The situations you will have in your dreams are ones that you could not have normally not even day dreaming. However, you can control how you react in the dream and make some changes to how things proceed.

It will be virtually impossible for you to become addicted to sleep and wet dreams because of the lack of absolute control. You won’t be able to control if that night will be the night you have a wet dream and that will keep your Limbic System from becoming overactive again. You may look forward to sleep and wet dreams but the addiction will not form (Read: Can I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams?).

Don’t think that you have to take the vitamins. The list of vitamins is only there if you need extra help or to help you have more vivid dreams. They are not a must. Try having lucid dreams without them and if you are having trouble then start experimenting with vitamins. Or even after you start having lucid dreams you might want to experiment with some of the vitamins to see if they can help you have more vivid dreams. Most of the vitamins are to help brain function so they could also be useful while you rewire your brain to quit porn. However, do not think that in any way that you need to have them to rewire your brain. You do not need them, you can do it naturally for sure.

And of course, wet dreams can be incredibly useful at relieving the pain of blue balls. Often you will feel the discomfort of blue balls before a wet dream is due, so hang in there. When you get into a rhythm your body will not allow the pain of blue balls to become too extreme without having a wet dream to relieve the pain. You will get to the point of mild discomfort though.

If you need more details on how to control your dreams try reading:

Or this more affordable book for your kind app:

Enjoy wet dreams. When you have a wet dream you should be on top of the world. You have achieved a great feat. You have officially cast aside porn and no longer need porn to cycle through sperm. Your brain has found a more natural and fulfilling way to clean out old sperm. Don’t let anything bring you down. No speeding ticket, no rejection from girls, no hassle from work can bring you down when you have a wet dream that morning.

Now go out there and start creating the life you were meant to live: a porn free life!

 

Brain Changes Shape – Steps to Recovery

Brain lifting weightsIf you are familiar with AA meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous) then you are probably familiar with the phrase, “once an addict always an addict.”

This phrase can be overly simplest for something that is complex. It is used to describe a process that has many stages and this simple phrase is not complete and at times is not accurate.

Stages of Recovery

Addicted Person: When someone is an addict they have cravings that are difficult nigh impossible to control.

In-Recovery: Next is someone who is battling the addiction. They have acknowledged the addiction and are now taking steps to recover and allow the brain to heal. This process takes months.

Pre-recovered: Then there is pre-recovered were the person has won back their ability to choose to follow through with a trigger or not. The person sometimes chooses to do their Modifying Behavior and other time chooses to go through with the trigger and the addiction.

Recovered/Maintenance Mode: When the person finally chooses to consistently do their Modifying Behavior the person then becomes recovered from the addiction and goes into Maintenance Mode. Maintenance Mode is where you become more proactive. If you feel bored you do something about it right away. You are no longer looking or needing triggers to get you off the couch and doing your Modifying Activities. You’re continually doing your Modifying Activities just out of routine and habit. This is true recovery and Maintenance Mode.

 

Now as we go through this process of recovery the brain literally changes shape. The folds of the brain change shape. Not all of them but the part of the brain that is strengthening and the part of the brain that is weakening will change shape. This is neuroplasticity or brain plasticity.

Neuroplasticity/Brain Plasticity: refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses which are due to changes in behavior, environment and neural processes, as well as changes resulting from bodily injury (Wikipedia: Neuroplasticity).

That brings us back to the original phrase, “once an addict always an addict.” Is this really true after the brain has literally reformed to a brain that is no longer addicted? When the cravings for porn are manageable and controllable is one still an addict?

The answer is probably “no.” There is little that resembles the actions of an addict including the shape and wiring of the brain.

However, what does ring true to the phrase “once an addict always and addict.” Is that the wiring has happened and could happen again. Relapses are real. The Limbic System can become overactive again if it is allowed to do so by the Frontal Lobe. Also, it is important that the recovered person realize that the addiction can reform an addiction to a different substance. Once having been addicted to porn it should be realized that addictions to alcohol or drugs could form quickly if the person consumes those chemicals. This would be another aspect of the “once an addict always and addict” which is the propensity in which a new and novel addiction can be formed.

If you do slip into a relapse, do not think all is lost. It is not. If you have made it to recovery your brain has found none addiction, brain circuitry that is acceptable not only to the Frontal Lobe but more importantly to the Limbic System. It will be much easier for the Limbic System to accept this circuitry again since it knows it can survive with this brain circuitry.  Remember that the Limbic System’s main goal is survival (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

The brain is very similar to muscles. You might have experienced what some people call “muscle memory.” If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is the idea that if you work out and reach a certain strength that if you stop working out and let yourself go for while, upon returning to working out your muscles will have a rapid growth to where they once were in size. So if it took you 6 months to get to a certain fitness level, and then you stopped working out for a period of time, it won’t take you 6 months to get to your previous fitness level but maybe just a month or two. This is the idea of “muscle memory.”

The brain is the same way. It can bounce back to prior wiring and circuitry than if it was trying to make up the circuitry from scratch. The brain molecules already are familiar with the routine and can reshape and realign themselves to their previous configuration. So if you get to recovery and have a slip, recovery will be much quicker to obtain than when you went through recovery for the first time.

If you have a relapse just know you have to keep up with Maintenance Mode more often and double up on your Modifying Behaviors. Make your Modifying Behaviors daily habits so you don’t have a relapse in the future.

Remember a porn free life is a better life. Really start to live by living porn free!

The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction: A Brief Overview

Success, Man Overlooks city

The Goal

The goal is to stop watching porn and masturbation. The goal is to achieve the many benefits of living a porn free life. (Read: Get the RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction)

The Problem

The RAMP Solution to pornography addiction focuses on teaching you how the game is being played in your mind. The game is this: you have an overactive Limbic System. This over active Limbic System thinks that most negative emotions or states of mind are actually threats to survival. It thinks that the feeling of boredom is a threat to survival or feeling tired is a threat to survival. This is why it is called “overactive” because it is over reacting to common negative emotions. (Read:  Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED) To survive it believes it must release brain chemicals into the brain. To get those brain chemicals it seeks out stimulation. In the case of porn addiction, that stimulant is porn and masturbation. Watching porn and masturbating allows the Limbic System to flush the brain with chemicals and gives it a temporary release. The Limbic System believes it is giving the brain a chance for “survival.”Of course this is not the case, the Limbic System is actually causing more stress on the brain and it is not solving any of the negative emotions that it is trying to cure.

The truth to the addiction and the game that is being played is to show you that you are not addicted to porn but rather the brain chemicals it causes. Brain chemicals are the problem and are at the center of your addiction. Learn how to control the Limbic System and let it heal itself and you will cure your addiction! (Read: Porn Is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are)

People who don’t know how the game is being played will focus on not watching porn. That is like a basketball team focusing on dribbling and never practices shooting the ball, or a golf player focusing on walking around a golf course and never practices swinging a club. You know this limited technique of practicing will never bring success. So it is with porn addiction, focusing on not watching porn will always bring failure. That is why most of you reading this will have failed countless number of times. It is because you focused on not watching porn instead of focusing on healing the mind which is the source of the addiction.  (Read: How to Talk to Your Mind)

The Solution

The solution includes understanding and documenting triggers. What are triggers? Briefly triggers are made up of two parts.

Part 1: One part is a reminder of the addiction. This can be anything from an attractive girl at school or a billboard along the side of the road that is using sexually suggestive marketing. We are often forced in our modern world to view suggestive material. Avoiding suggestive material is not the point of the RAMP solution, the point is to be able to recognize when a trigger happens. So when you see something that excites you sexually instantly you should start evaluating if you are having a trigger. The RAMP Solution teaches you to recognize the moment a trigger happens. Time is of the essence. Limiting the amount of time the Limbic System can use to pump chemicals will limit the amount of chemicals in the brain and give you a better chance of avoiding a slip. (Read:  Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED)

Part 2: The trigger needs you to be in a compromised state of mind. This means feeling TROUBLED. When you are emotionally compromised you will find that your Limbic System is easily triggered. Like part 1, part 2 is often out of your control. At some point in the day or week we will be in a TROUBLED state. That is just part of life. The point is not to avoid feeling negative feelings but to be able to recognize which feelings we are feeling. And then to have a Modifying Behavior that we have in place to satisfy the negative feeling. (Read: Clint Eastwood Versus Richard Simmons)

It is also highly recommended that you keep a journal. The journal can be used to document times of day when triggers happen. It can tell you what types of emotions give you more problems than others. It can help you see patterns that often form with triggers. Identifying these patterns will help you be able to dissect triggers so that you can defeat them.

Also, a journal will help you realize the effects of the program. Often the healing of the mind is subtle and unnoticeable. Working out the mind is often like a muscle. It will little by little get stronger. Often it is hard to document the day to day changes. It is easier to notice changes over months. However, with muscles there is a visual change which is not perceivable with brain changes. The brain will actually change shape as you heal. But because it is surrounded by your skull you will never see the folds of your brain change shape. However, there is a very real physical healing that will happen with your brain as you heal. Keeping a journal will help you realize and document these often unperceivable changes. (Read: Keep a Journal)

During a trigger you will feel the desire to have a slip. In the beginning it is ok to have slips. Addictions take time and slips are inevitable. Just like falling on a bicycle is inevitable when learning how to ride a bike (Read: Why Signing Contracts or Promises Are Counterproductive).

While slips are natural in the learning process, eventually you need to train your mind to eventually not go through with slips. In the RAMP Solution, your last defense against a trigger is to complete the RAMP process. ONCE YOU START THE RAMP PROCESS IT MUST BE FOLLOWED ALL THE WAY THROUGH! Do not let a slip during the process stop you from completing the RAMP process. This is very tempting to do as your mind will be put in a false sense of security because of the brain chemicals released during the slip. So in the beginning it is okay to have a slip while completing the RAMP process. However, it is not okay to stop the RAMP process until it has been completed all the way through. All the way to Self Praise.

RAMP is an acronym that stands for Recognize, Actions, Modify and Praise. In the program you will learn how to:

  • RECOGNIZE. Learn how to recognize the moment a trigger happens. You will also learn how to dissect a trigger which will allow you to better defeat future triggers.
  • ACTIONS. What physical actions to take to help you resist the trigger and the brain chemicals they cause.
  • MODIFY. You will learn how Modifying Activities can calm the Limbic System. Learn how to tailor Modifying Activities to different types of triggers.

Learn more about the RAMP Solution by getting the complete 2+ hour program at one of these distributors:

itunes-Stop Porn_100x100           Amazon_MP3_Stop Porn_100x100           GooglePlay_Stop Porn_100x100
Or visit the sales page at StopPornToday.com

Exercise the Atomic Bomb in the War Against the Limbic System

Atomic Bomb ExplosionExercise has been mentioned in other parts of this website (read: Buy Yourself Some Time). However, it certainly deserves its own post dedicated just to exercise. It can be a significant factor in speeding up your recovery. Can you recover without exercise? Most likely you can still have success. Will exercise help speed up the process and make it more likely that you will succeed? Also, most likely yes.

Exercise is your friend in your recovery. If you cannot think of an appropriate Modifying behavior (the “M” in the RAMP Solution) then you always have exercise.

Why is exercise so effective in helping you rewire your brain? Because it helps oxygenate the brain and an oxygenated brain is a healthy and high functioning brain. And a healthy brain will be better able to shift molecules around and rewire itself to be compulsion free. Also, blood flow helps clean out the brain from chemicals produced by the Limbic System and without chemicals the Limbic System losses its mechanism of control over the other parts of the brain. The frontal lobe dominates an oxygenated brain.

The brain that needs the most oxygen is the frontal lobe. This is the part of the brain that will help you control your overactive Limbic System. The Limbic System, however, does not need as much oxygen. If someone is not able to breathe the frontal lobe will be one of the first parts of the brain to suffer from the lack of oxygen. However, the Limbic System will still function for a time without oxygen. With the brain stem often being the last part of the brain to suffer from lack of oxygen.

Supercharge the part of the brain, the frontal lobe, that will help you most in your recovery by oxygenating your blood. After deep full breathes (the “A” or Action in the RAMP solution); you should consider exercise to be your next step as a means of oxygenating your blood.

Exercise can always be combined with modifying activities to make them more acceptable to the Limbic System as adequate solutions to TROUBLED feelings.

Exercise does not need to be some complex ordeal. You don’t need to run a marathon or even a half marathon. Your minimum should be somewhere between 10 to 20 minutes of exercise that causes increased breathing and heart rate. Consult your physician if you are new to exercising and if you have physical limitations.

Anyone can exercise; just find a way to move your body. Your goal is not to lose weight or gain muscle, although those things are satisfying and encouraging. The goal is just to get your heart rate up and blood flowing. Gyms are great, but jogging on the side walk works too. Anything works and later down the road if you want to focus on cardio or muscle toning, great, but right now just get moving.

ACTIVITY: Buy three songs that have an up tempo beat that gets you moving. Close the door to your room and close the blinds to your window and start maniac. Go crazy for the length of three songs and you’ll get your blood flowing and your brain cleaned up. Try Amazon MP3.

Exercise is your atomic bomb in the war against the Limbic System. Exercise calms the Limbic System and flushes out its chemicals from the brain. Exercise renders the Limbic System virtual useless for a while, but only for a while. Just keep in mind that sometimes you will still need to complete a Modifying behavior on top of exercise. It will feel great to get the Limbic Systems chemicals out of the brain but if you don’t take care of your TROUBLED feeling that TROUBLED feeling will return and cause another trigger. So tailor a Modifying activity to your TROUBLED feeling.

Go exercise and start living like never before!030910-N-0000X-002

Sexual Desires: Essential to an Enjoyable Life

Loving couple kissing outdoorsThe goal of the RAMP program is not to turn you into a eunuch. It is not to turn off the sexual desire but to harness it and to rein it in to where it is acceptable and useful to your everyday life.

Sexual desire is a powerful motivator. There is a great book that has a fantastic chapter dedicated to sexual energy and the benefits of it when focused. The book is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Chapter 11 is entitled “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation.”

Here is a little excerpt:

A river may be dammed, and its water controlled for a time, but eventually, it will force an outlet. The same is true of the emotion of sex. It may be submerged and controlled for a time, but its very nature causes it to be ever seeking means of expression. If it is not transmuted into some creative effort it will find a less worthy outlet.

Isn’t that a perfect reflection of porn compulsion as “a less worthy outlet?” That is why there is an “M” for Modifying activity in the RAMP solution. Sexual energy cannot be cured or dammed up. It must be modified and focuses into a rewarding and uplifting activity. Into an activity that helps us grow and become more than we were before.

The definition of TRANSMUTE: to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature and especially to a higher form (Merriam-Webster).

The desire to be with a woman is perhaps one of, if not the most powerful feeling men experience. That desire can be harnessed and refocused and transmuted to create energy for all aspects of our life. Loving couple embracing in cinema

You will find that after you have overcome pornography compulsion that you are more . . . alive. You can be more focused and your mind will be quickened. You will be more apt to smile and maybe for no reason. Others around you will most likely treat you differently. Women will be more attracted to you and will be more drawn to you with a desire to interact with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean in a sexual manner but they will be more at ease in your presence.

This comes from being able to refocus sexual energy into your Modifying behaviors.

I highly recommend that you read at least Chapter 11 of the book if not the whole book. You can find it at amazon.com for around $12 or for your kindle app for around $0.99.

Now go out there and transmute sexual energy to make yourself better than ever before!

Women with Porn Addiction

Women with Porn Addiction

This website is written from the standpoint that most people with a porn compulsion will be men. However, that is not to say that women will not fall into the trap as well. According to one statistic 17% of women will suffer from porn addiction. Around 28% of visitors to adult websites will be female (http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html).

Perhaps fewer women suffer from pornography because they generally have a larger corpus collusum. This part of the brain connects the right and left hemispheres and allows for greater data transfer between the two halves. This might give women better access to emotions when porn is viewed. Accessing emotions can perhaps discourage the viewing of pornography because of the guilt that is often associated with viewing porn.

While men are more likely to turn off other parts of the brain while viewing porn, thus reducing the guilt felt during the viewing of porn. Guilt will often return after the slip has occurred and the rest of the brain turns on again.

Additionally, women tend to lean towards adult chat rooms and adult stories rather than images. However, the result is usually the same in that a compulsion for these adult materials develops. While the material may be different, the mechanism and the cause of the addiction are the same. Which is the Limbic System is causing a chemical release. It is really meaningless if the porn is graphically or textually inducing the chemical release.

Portrait of a sad woman

The RAMP Solution to porn addiction is still a viable way to help women through the addiction. The brain mechanisms are the same regardless of the type of porn being consumed.

However, one significant difference is an external one and it would be with the way society treats women who have a porn compulsion. They are ostracized more than a man would be. There is the saying, “boys will be boys.” However, women have historically been held to a higher moral standard than men. Even though you may not have told anyone about your problem, you are still more susceptible to feel extra shame from the addiction because you know the resentment and disapproval you would face if others knew your problem. So the downward spiral has the potential to be more powerful with women due to this extra shame projected onto them by society (read: The Downward Spiral of Porn Addiction vs. Praise & Affirmations). Because of this, women should stress the “P” in RAMP which is for Praise.

You can overcome this addiction. The brain was born addiction free and it wants to be addiction free. Once you know how the game is being played in your mind, you will be able to win the game. Most likely you got into this mess alone and you can get out of this mess alone as well. Don’t think that you have to confess your addiction to anyone, just start doing the program and have fun. Overcoming the addiction is a time of great personal discovery. You will know so much more about yourself after having conquering your Limbic System.

young girl with laptop computer, sitting in living room

Buy Yourself Some Time

Stopwatch. 3dSometimes when you have a trigger you are not going to know what the appropriate modifying behavior needs to be. Sometimes a trigger will catch you off guard when you have not been monitoring your mood.

Your best chance to avoiding the slip is to use the RAMP process.

Part of the “A” of RAMP (Action) must include deep full breaths. The reason for this is because it oxygenates the blood and cleans the brain from the Limbic System’s chemicals. It is not the solution but it buys you some time.

The solution is more the “M” of RAMP (Modifying behavior). The “M” is the most important activity of the RAMP solution. And it should be done with care and SHOULD ALWAYS BE DONE EVEN IF YOU HAVE A SLIP. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COMPLETE THE RAMP SOLUTION ONCE IT HAS STARTED, ALL THE WAY THROUGH EVEN IF YOU HAD A SLIP ALONG THE WAY.

However, what if you can’t find that Modifying Behavior? Or you’re not quite sure you have strategically picked the correct modifying behavior? There are some things you can do to buy yourself some time. A supercharged Action can help buy you time.

A supercharged Action can help buy you time to find the appropriate Modifying Behavior. However, in no way should a supercharged Action be considered a Modifying Behavior. Just because it will buy you time, does not mean that you don’t need to complete the Modifying Behavior.

Two supercharged activities are:

EXERCISE – Exercise will increase your heart beat and oxygenate your blood. This can easily flush out the chemicals from the brain. If you are in doubts of your emotional state (TROUBLED state), there is a chance that exercise could be your Modifying Behavior. But to be on the safe side, if you are unsure, you should combine it with another activity just to be safe.

ICE COLD SHOWER – Now this might sound like a cliché. However, this can be very effective at buying time. Unlike exercise there is almost no way an ice cold shower could be a modifying behavior so don’t even try to deceive yourself. What an ice cold shower does do is cause you to go into a hypothermia. Keep this controlled and don’t go overboard. A little goes a long way. So a 5 to 8 minute ice cold shower will be plenty. The ice cold shower will lower your body temperature below normal functioning levels. This will shock the brain and the Limbic System. The Limbic System will effective seek out one thing: and that is heat. The addiction will definitely take a back seat. Additionally, the body will start to hyperventilate. Hyperventilation will create oxygenated blood and help flush the Limbic System’s chemicals out of the brain.

Give these a try if you are ever confused about which Modifying Behavior you need to do. Also, these can always be done just to supercharge the Action of RAMP and give greater probability of a successful Modifying Behavior. Exercise should always be considered as a catalyst for rewiring the brain and it can also be used to buy you time. Exercise is versatile and important to the overall process. Exercise can buy you about 30 minutes to even till the next trigger (days) if it can be correctly used as a Modifying Behavior.

To correctly using exercise as a Modifying Behavior means that your TROUBLED feeling was bored or tired or something else that can be alleviated after going to the gym.

Ice cold shower is not important to the overall process but it can be used occasionally to boost the Action of the RAMP solution. The cold shower will probably buy you about 20 minutes to an hour of time to figure out what Modifying Behavior you want to do. Once that time is over, there is an extremely high probability of having another trigger. The ice cold shower will most likely never be able to be used as a Modifying Behavior unless your TROUBLED feeling is maybe feeling Uncomfortable because your body is suffering from elevated heat temperatures.

Remember this is just to buy you time. To clean out the brain for a moment and give you some time to plan out the Modifying Behavior. You might feel relaxed from the brain being free from the Limbic System’s chemicals. You might be tempted to let your guard down and stop the RAMP process. DON’T DO IT. YOU MUST COMPLETE RAMP ONCE IT HAS STARTED. You most find your Modifying Behavior. Then you finish it with Praise to cut the cycle and the downward spiral of porn.

Happy brain rewiring and remember a porn free life is worth every cold shower in the world.

Keep a Journal

Brown notebook with pen isolated on whiteDon’t think of this as a quirky or girlie activity. This journal is for scientific purposes. The journal will be used to document your progress and will help you see patterns in your triggers.

Triggers (read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED) tend to happen in patterns. This is because we tend to follow routines in life. Repetition in our life will cause triggers to happen in predictable moments. Keeping a journal will greatly increase your ability to identify these patterns.

For instance, if you have a teacher at school who constantly gives test on Fridays, then you may find that you often have triggers Thursday afternoons as you stress over the test the night before. Or with that same example you might have triggers after the test on Friday afternoon because you are tired from studying the night before. These examples may seem easy to identify. However, you would be surprised at how living your life can distract you from identifying the routines that often cause triggers. How often do you feel the need to ask yourself some simple questions? I would guess, probably not often.

A journal can greatly increase your chances of quickly identifying these trigger causing routines and to being the process of eliminated the trigger. To eliminate a trigger you need to find solutions to the trigger by using Modifying behaviors. Modifying behaviors is the “M” of the RAMP Solution.

Don’t start your journal with “Dear Diary.” Instead try using a consistent form of questions that you answer consistently when you have a trigger or a slip.

Date:
Time spent during slip:
Type of porn:
What stage of RAMP did slip occur:
Did you finish RAMP process: yes or no?
Trigger:

So an example would look like:

Date: 4/5/2013
Time spent during slip: 45 minutes
Type of porn: Bikini’s non-nude  (This question will be more relevant if you are looking at very graphic or even illegal types of porn)
What stage of RAMP did slip occur: Slip occurred after the “R”
Did you finish the RAMP process: yes or no? Yes
Trigger: The trigger happened sometime while I was on the bus coming home from school. I knew the house was going to be empty so there was a feeling of Loneliness. Plus I was physically Tired from staying up the night before to finish a report for English class. TROUBLED feelings would include Loneliness and Tired. The reminder of the addiction, I am not sure, but was probably a girl that I saw walking down the street.

By consistently writing in your journal after slips will allow you to also see how often they occur. At first there will probably be daily entries. But as you conquer triggers you will notice that your slips happen in greater intervals, maybe every other day. As you progress your journal entries will become farther apart in time. This can be very encouraging and give way to great amounts of self Praise. Praise is the “P” in the RAMP Solution.

You will notice that some triggers are easier to conquer than others. A trigger caused by being physically tired is an easy trigger to solve by taking a nap. However, other triggers will be trickier to solve. That is because they have a belief that is attached to them. Something you believe to be true but in reality is a false belief. Keeping a journal will help you identify the emotions that cause triggers that are harder to solve. The journal will help you identify these triggers simple because of repetition of entries with the same TROUBLED feelings or same events. Writing down the same thing over and over can quickly let you know that you have a pattern in your life that need to be shaken up.

Journals are incredibly helpful in your recover. Do not sell this activity short. This is a must and will cut a significant amount of time from your recovery. Do the journal!

You can use any type of word processing program (i.e. Microsoft Word: For Windows or For Mac) to keep a journal. Often this journal will contain private observations about yourself that others should not see. So you may want to keep the journal encrypted. For encryption purposes, I found TrueCrypt to be very easy and a powerful encrypting program. It is also a free program.

I also recommend PENZU an online journal that is also encrypted. They have a free version that is sufficient for your needs.

Try some journaling options out and see what feels convenient for you. Most important is to keep the journal entries consistent. Consistency is important. Every time you have a slip it gets documented in your journal.

Start journaling and documenting! Be a better you by living a porn free life!

Clint Eastwood Versus Richard Simmons

Clint_Eastwood_DOI_1675_Porn_FreeWe all know who wins, Clint Eastwood. And 99.99% of the people reading this will agree that Clint Eastwood wins. Wins at what, you might ask? It doesn’t matter, Clint Eastwood wins. Most likely most of us, the vast majority, would identify ourselves more with the Clint Eastwood camp than with the Richard Simmons camp.

However, I would like to make a simple and generalized characterization of the two. I have never met nor do I know either of them personally. So everything I say is just a generalization here.

Clint Eastwood almost always portrays a man who doesn’t back down from anything. When you think of masculinity, you would put that characteristic with Eastwood over Simmons. Clint Eastwood is more of the silent but deadly type of person. When Eastwood says something you know he means it.

In contrast Richard Simmons is more of a bubbly girl rather than masculine. Simmons wears his heart on his sleeve. Simmons is more of a touchy feely person. If you met Simmons, you probably don’t need to ask Simmons how he is doing because he already told you at least once how he is doing and how he is feeling.

Again these are just very basic generalizations and stereo types of these two types of men.

Now when it comes to overcoming porn and living porn free, it should be noted that Eastwood would most likely have a porn problem than Simmons. The reason is obviously associated with the treatment of feelings.

Are feelings real?

Ask yourself that question and most likely you would say no. And I would answer the same way. You can’t touch feelings or see feelings. Feelings don’t have colors or shapes. You can’t prove I feel one way or the other. Most likely Clint Eastwood’s characters in the movies would answer that feelings are not real.

Now, to quit porn, you don’t have to become like Richard Simmons. Porn addiction would be near impossible to quit if that were the case. But what I am saying is that for this one instance, for this goal you have created for yourself to quit porn, you need to consider your feelings. Your mood is very much at the heart of porn addiction. Being in the TROUBLED state will increase the likely hood of having a trigger (read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED).

The point is not to pretend that we are not angry or tired or over stressed. The point is to recognize these feelings and to do something about them. You must realize that these negative feelings are really calls to action. They are telling you, you need to do something. If you are stressing out about something, then that is a feeling that you need to keep organizing yourself and working towards solving whatever it is that is causing you stress. If you are tired, that is a feeling telling you that you need to take a break.

You need to keep a constant monitor on your mood. This is not something you will be used to doing. This will seem awkward at first and you may even need to ask yourself out loud “How am I feeling right now?” Or “What is my mood right now?” Just do it until you being to learn to monitor your mood constantly and internally.

When you do have a trigger, you will be already ahead of the game if you have been monitoring your mood. If you know you have been stressing out over a test, you will be prepared for triggers and you will already have the solution on hand. The solution will be exercising to reduce the stress and to study for the test to reduce the chances of feeling stressed again in the near future. The solution would be the “M” or the Modifying behavior in the RAMP solution.

Monitoring your mood will eventually allow you to be proactive instead of reactive to the addiction. It will allow you to act before a trigger even happens. As you do this, with time, the Limbic System will begin to calm itself. With time triggers will even begin to go away because they are simply not needed anymore.

You don’t need to be a touchy feely person to overcome the addiction. You definitely don’t need to share your mood or feelings with others but you do need to keep an internal dialog with yourself of how you are feeling.

Clint Eastwood always wins and always kicks the crap out of the other person. The same you will do as well, kick the crap out of this addiction. It is inevitable.

Clint Eastwood YouTube Video

Vs

Richard Simmons YouTube Video

Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED

Triggerguard and triggerWhat are triggers?

Triggers are events that trigger your craving for porn. Triggers create that moment when the brain begins to pump a small amount of chemicals in anticipation of acting out on the addiction. You will often feel slight uptick in your heart rate the moment a trigger happens. Triggers tend to be subtle and may not be noticed if they are not actively being monitored. However, with time someone can become sensitive the triggers and learn to identify the instance when they occur.

Triggers are often made of two parts. One is a reminder of the porn and the other is a state of mind that would make the Limbic System overactive.

Part 1:

The first part of the trigger is the emotional state of the person. The Limbic System is the cause of the addiction (read Porn Is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are). The Limbic System being overactive will make mountains out of molehills. The Limbic System has a way of making uncomfortable feelings and changing them into life and death situation with the only solution being the chemical high achieved from viewing porn.

The emotional state of the person will often dictate the vulnerability of the Limbic System to be put into life and death mode. The acronym TROUBLED is used to describe some of the emotions one might feel that would put the Limbic System in an overactive state. TROUBLED stands for:

  • TIRED
  • REGRET
  • OVER WORKED/OVER STRESSED
  • UNCOMFORTABLE
  • BORED
  • LONELY
  • EMPTY
  • DEPRESSED

Any of these feelings can cause the Limbic System to fight for survival. The Limbic System will identify the chemicals produced by the addiction as the optimal chance for survival and will make a desperate plea to the rest of the brain to seek out those chemicals thus creating a trigger.

Part 2:

The second part is a reminder of porn. This can be anything from billboards, to T.V. commercials, to a simple advertisement on the internet. Marketers know that “sex sells” and will often use sexual imagery to sell a product. These simple advertisements can cause triggers in someone who has a compulsion for porn. Even our own memory can pull up an image that would cause a trigger. An attractive girl at school/work can cause a trigger. Almost anything can cause one to be reminded of porn. Controlling the outside world is impossible. Controlling the reminders of porn is impossible.

Although we have no control over the reminders, it is important to note that triggers need a reminder of the addiction to happen. If one knows that they just saw a reminder of porn, then the person can be on the lookout to see if a trigger happens. Knowing that a trigger is probable will allow the person to being monitor for a trigger. This is very usual information.

The faster a person knows a trigger has occurred the faster they can take steps to counteract the chemicals that are being produced in the brain. This will also allow limiting the amount of chemicals released. With lower levels of chemicals in the brain the person is much more likely to be able to overcome the trigger than if the person has allowed the trigger to happen and allows the brain to become awash in chemicals. When the brain is awash with chemicals fighting off the trigger will be close to impossible. Something you have already experienced.

Being controlled by an addiction is not fun. However there are effective activities you can do to limit the power of triggers. To get more information on how to resist the Limbic System’s chemicals get the RAMP Solution to porn addiction. You can get the audio here: www.StopPornToday.com