How to Talk to Your Mind

Brain erased Your mind is unbelievably fast. It can process complex and imaginary thoughts in fractions of a second. It can create images that it has never seen before. Because of the speed at which the mind functions it can be heavily influenced by suggestion.

Here is an example. Think of a gray elephant with long floppy ears and a long trunk. Now imagine that same elephant but make it a green elephant.

Although you have never seen a green elephant in your life your mind had no problem making one.

Now here is another exercise. Try NOT to think of a green elephant. I bet it is too late. As soon as you read the words “green elephant” your mind was off to the races and had already plastered the picture in your mind. Especially since it already has green elephants on the mind.

The speed of our brains is certainly an advantage in almost every instance imagined. However, with porn addiction it can be a hindrance if you ignore this feature of your mind. If you want to quit porn then you must work with your mind and not against it. Remember you want the Limbic System (the cause of the problem) to be your ally and not your enemy. So work with your mind to coax it to rewire itself so you can quit porn for good.

As the exercise above showed, you cannot tell your mind to not think about something. Or at least it is extremely difficult to approach the mind with something not to think about. Most likely that has been the crux of your quitting strategy in the past. With a clenched fist and by sheer force of will you have been telling your mind to “stop watching porn.” As the above exercise showed, this is a failed strategy because you are not working with your mind. Every time you tell your mind to “stop watching porn” it hears “watch porn.”

Your past strategy has been self defeating. You cannot resist the addiction. Resisting the addiction only makes it more real in your mind. Resistance also creates strong emotions within you and these emotions only further ingrain the addiction into your mind.

It has been shown that your mind will have a substantial increase in memory if it is under the influence of a powerful emotion. Even physical pain can cause a heightened ability to create memories. Need to study for a test, slap yourself in the face before you start studying. Just look around and make sure no one is watching. That is a joke but there is truth to it. Take a second and think back on times when you had physical pain. Most likely you can think of things that happened many years ago and the memories will be some of the most vivid memories you have. Even if you haven’t thought about the incident for years the memories remain vivid.

So when you told your mind “stop watching porn” and you said it with a very high emotional background you were really just further ingraining the addiction in your mind. Now that is not to say that the compulsion to porn is now forever ingrained. The mind is incredibly elastic and can be reshaped. And that which has been learned can be forgotten or at least not utilized.

Remember you are not addicted porn. You are addicted to the chemicals it produces in your mind!

When you are no longer addicted and you stumble upon porn on the internet you will be able to appreciate it. You will be able to tell yourself “that was interesting but not for me.” I have this and this to do, see you later porn. Notice how there is less resistance to that state of mind. Treat it as if you saw an owl in a tree. Oh that’s slightly interesting but I’m on my way to school/work. Then give your mind something else to think about.

That is how you work with your mind by giving it something to think about. The “M” in the RAMP Solution to porn addiction (buy it at www.StopPornToday.com) uses this technique to offer your mind a Modifying behavior. The Modifying behavior gives your mind something to think about and thereby not to think addiction. The RAMP Solution does not resist the addiction but only steers the mind to think and work on something else. The mind only thinks about one thing at a time, despite what multitaskers believe.

This substitution technique does not work instantaneously. As it has been stated above, depending on how long you have had the addiction; the addiction may be quite ingrained in your mind. This will take time to undo. Shoot for 8 months to cure. However, make no mistake about it, without a doubt it can be undone.

The substitution technique is not for the lazy. You must do the modifying behavior even if you have slip. This is exceptionally important. After having a slip you will have that chemical rush and then you will have the regret that follows. This state of mind will want to keep you from achieving and from going out and doing your modifying activity. YOU MUST STILL GO OUT AND DO YOUR MODIFYING ACTIVITY EVEN IF YOU HAD A SLIP. Doing the modifying activity is the only way the mind can be trained to accept a different activity instead of the porn.

Once the brain has a modifying activity it will slowly begin to accept it as an acceptable solution instead of using porn. And eventually the cravings will dissipate and will not dictate your life. You can live the life you were meant to live. You will be able to enjoy the simple things of life. You will have a more constant feeling of well being. This feeling of well being will be one that not only you feel but the people around you will feel it too. Your life will be noticeable different.

Porn Is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are

It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.

Sun Tzu

You need to know who the real enemy is to your porn addiction. Shockingly as it may be, porn is not your enemy. The enemy is that certain part of the brain that releases chemicals when you view porn. The enemy is your overactive Limbic System of the brain.

You need to know your enemy. Also know that the enemy will soon become an ally.

Human face with Biohazard signThe Limbic System is responsible for the reward centers of the brain. The viewing of porn allows these reward centers to become overactive. Interestingly, these reward centers of the brain become overactive with chemical addictions as well. By learning how to heal the brain, we will learn how to calm the Limbic System and curve the cravings for porn.

To truly overcome the addiction one must work with the brain. That is the cause of the addiction. Once the brain has rewired itself to its original non-addicted state, the cravings for porn will be manageable and controllable. You will be able to choose not to watch porn. With an addiction that ability to choose is often not possible for very lengthy periods of time. Maybe a week or two is the max of what an addicted person is capable of doing. And those two weeks are not happy go lucky weeks. That is heavy will power and effort being forced onto the mind. And eventually the addicted mind wins.

The goal is not to fight the mind but to heal it. You cannot win the war until the Limbic System becomes your ally. As long as the Limbic System is overactive, you will not be at peace. This can be a significant paradigm shift in your thinking. Instead of telling yourself not to look at porn, you need to start thinking “how can I calm the Limbic System?” That is really the answer you seek. Forget about the porn and start focusing on healing your mind.

Get a program that will help you work with your brain to overcome porn addiction. May I suggest StopPornToday.com and the RAMP solution to porn addiction.

The Downward Spiral Versus Praise and Affirmations

Whirlpool_Downward spiral of porn compulsionWhen I think of downward spiral my first thought is of a whirlpool. Or draining a tub where right above the drain a whirlpool will develop that sucks everything down to some black abyss. Or I think of an airplane at an air show that is spiraling down towards earth with a smoke trail behind it. And just when you start to think that they might not be able to pull out in time before hitting the earth, the pilot pulls out of the spin and zooms back into the sky.

Pornography addiction has an aspect that is similar to a downward spiral. Similar in an allegorical sense, in that it is a mental cycle that repeats itself and with each successive rotation of the cycle the person becomes a little more desensitized and perhaps loses a little more hope in overcoming the addiction to porn.

In porn the downward spiral is created when one starts to use the brain chemicals produced by porn addiction to cope with negative feelings. So the cycle usually starts out with a person who is TROUBLED. Meaning the person has negative feelings. The overactive Limbic System then makes a pull for the chemicals produced by porn. The individual goes through with the addiction and has a slip. Chemicals are released and the person has a temporary release from the TROUBLED feelings. Then immediately after the chemical release the TROUBLED feelings return plus the shame of the slip is added. The Limbic System then makes another pull to have another chemical release from porn. And the person will then have another slip that repeats the process all over again.

The downward cycle is a trap and it is an effective one. The cycle can take 30 minutes to complete or a day or two. But as the cycle is repeated, it only encourages the Limbic System.

What is the solution to the downward spiral? If you are familiar with the RAMP solution to porn addiction you will know about the “P” of RAMP which stands for “Praise” or self praise. When you are able do your modifying activity, even if it is after you have a slip, you need to give yourself praise. You got of the sofa and you got away from your computer and you went out and did something positive. That action deserves praise because that modifying behavior will eventually lead to your Limbic System to calm itself and allow you the option to choose a modifying behavior instead of the addiction.

Before we talk about affirmations I should tell you that I understand. I know if you are addicted to porn the last thing you want to talk about is feelings and affirmations. I’m not asking you to become a touchy feely person. I am certainly not one and I never will be or want to be a touchy feely person. But for overcoming and quitting porn for good you have to consider your mood and how you are feeling.

Right after a slip there is almost always a feeling of regret. Especially if you are religious or have family members that you just figuratively let down. I am telling you right now, this feeling of regret is not helpful. It will lead to the downward spiral and to another slip. Perhaps if you believe pornography and masturbation are not bad then you could focus on the regret to motivate you and to teach you that you need to change your ways. But that is not you. If you are reading this and visiting this website then you probably don’t need to be convinced that pornography is bad.

Because of the regret, affirmations can be very helpful especially right after a slip. Affirmations are simple but can be very effective. Just go into the bathroom or anywhere where there is a mirror and just look at your reflection. Look eye to eye and tell yourself something positive. Something you could say is “I am determined” or “I have everything I need to quit” or “This is another day that I learn more about myself” or “Every day I am becoming stronger” or “I keep getting back up” or say anything that changes that feeling of regret to one of determination and gratitude.

Looking at yourself eye to eye, you will be able to not only hear your determination but see it as well. Men tend to be very visual so to see the determination in your own eyes can be extremely convincing. And when you believe something with conviction, that belief will permeate throughout your being even down to your subconscious mind. Try affirmations the next time you have a slip and really feel the power that is within you. You will be amazed.

A life free from porn is much better than a mind trapped by porn!

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