How to Have Wet Dreams A.K.A Nocturnal Emissions

Man Asleep in bed

Perhaps one of the most enjoyable benefits of being free from porn and free from masturbation is the benefit of wet dreams. Wet dreams, also called Nocturnal Emissions by the medical community, can produce very vivid and memorable dreams. They can give you insights into your subconscious and how it relates to sexuality. You can experience sexual situations that you would never have in real life. These experiences are brought to you from your subconscious and are generated from questions you have about life and about your own sexuality. Wet dreams allow you to learn more about yourself and what interests you from a perspective that would otherwise be unknown to you.

The reality of wet dreams is something that cannot be matched by watching porn and masturbating. In a dream the lines of reality and dream word are blurred. The brain has a very hard time distinguishing between what is vividly imagined and what is reality. Dreams are the best way to present the brain with vivid imaginations of something that is not real.

Nothing shuts up the Limbic System like a wet dream. When you get to the point where you achieve wet dreams then you can rest assured that the brain no longer needs the addiction of porn. However, it can take a month or two of no masturbation or sex to flip the mind’s switch to wet dreams.

How to have a wet dream:

1)      It may take a month without having an ejaculation (no masturbation or sex) for your mind to switch over and utilize wet dreams. To learn how to get away from porn and masturbation get the RAMP Solution to porn addiction.

2)      Have a normal sleep pattern, a set schedule that you sleep every day. Also, if you need an alarm to get up then you should try either getting to bed earlier or sleeping in later. Alarms are great for getting you to set a sleep pattern but they shouldn’t used on a daily basis. If you are relying on an alarm to wake you up every day then you need to figure out a way to get more sleep.

3)      Learn how to control your dreams.

a)       Keep a dream journal to train your mind being to remember dreams more vividly.

b)      Remembering dreams will make them more vivid

c)       Take vitamins to help you have more vivid dreams a sleep deeper. Not necessary but they can speed up the processes for some people. (Links are to Amazon.com)

i)      Vitamin B-6

ii)     Alpha GPC

iii)    5-HTP

iv)    Choline Bitartrate

v)      Fish Oil Concentrate

vi)    Melatonin

d)      Read suggested books below.

4)      Be able to tolerate some blue balls as your body works out its natural rhythm and begins to have wet dreams

5)      Enjoy wet dreams.

Have patience with wet dreams. If you have not had wet dreams in years it could take a month or maybe two for your mind to switch over to wet dreams. If you stay clear of masturbation your body will be forced to have wet dreams.

If you are working on your porn addiction you can also start working on controlling your dreams at the same time. So when you are ready you can make the transition into wet dreams very quickly. It is very helpful to know when you are dreaming. I personally have had many dreams that I could have had a wet dream but instead of going through with the sex I abstained because I thought it was real life. If you know you are dream then you will not have that problem. Controlling your dreams is not absolute control. The situations you will have in your dreams are ones that you could not have normally not even day dreaming. However, you can control how you react in the dream and make some changes to how things proceed.

It will be virtually impossible for you to become addicted to sleep and wet dreams because of the lack of absolute control. You won’t be able to control if that night will be the night you have a wet dream and that will keep your Limbic System from becoming overactive again. You may look forward to sleep and wet dreams but the addiction will not form (Read: Can I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams?).

Don’t think that you have to take the vitamins. The list of vitamins is only there if you need extra help or to help you have more vivid dreams. They are not a must. Try having lucid dreams without them and if you are having trouble then start experimenting with vitamins. Or even after you start having lucid dreams you might want to experiment with some of the vitamins to see if they can help you have more vivid dreams. Most of the vitamins are to help brain function so they could also be useful while you rewire your brain to quit porn. However, do not think that in any way that you need to have them to rewire your brain. You do not need them, you can do it naturally for sure.

And of course, wet dreams can be incredibly useful at relieving the pain of blue balls. Often you will feel the discomfort of blue balls before a wet dream is due, so hang in there. When you get into a rhythm your body will not allow the pain of blue balls to become too extreme without having a wet dream to relieve the pain. You will get to the point of mild discomfort though.

If you need more details on how to control your dreams try reading:

Or this more affordable book for your kind app:

Enjoy wet dreams. When you have a wet dream you should be on top of the world. You have achieved a great feat. You have officially cast aside porn and no longer need porn to cycle through sperm. Your brain has found a more natural and fulfilling way to clean out old sperm. Don’t let anything bring you down. No speeding ticket, no rejection from girls, no hassle from work can bring you down when you have a wet dream that morning.

Now go out there and start creating the life you were meant to live: a porn free life!

 

Easier to Quit Porn All the Way

happy young businessman on spring field

It will be easier for you to give up porn and masturbation completely than to have one day off a week or some other type of arrangement where you justify having a relapse.

The reason is that the brain, and more specifically, the Limbic System views porn as the holy grail, the fountain of youth, the jackpot for procreation (Read: Why Haven’t I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams). The Limbic System believes that through porn it can solve every and all problems that you may have throughout your lifetime. The addiction is powerful and some who have been addicted to other things like alcohol and drugs have called pornography the hardest of addictions to quit. Part of that difficulty is due to porn’s availability (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit; The Triple-A Engine).

Given the power of this brain wiring it will be extremely difficult if not impossible to keep this wiring active and not have it consume you. If you have experienced porn addiction then you know the consuming fire that is the addiction.

It will be better for you to completely eliminate the desire for porn. Let me explain: you can eliminate the desire for porn but keep alive the desire for women and sex. This is possible through channeling the desire for porn and sex into another activity. This is the transmutation of sexual energy (Read: Sexual Desire: Essential to an Enjoyable Life).

This is one of those things were the cliché is true: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t have the brain wiring for the addiction and not be addicted. The wiring needs to be completely eliminated for you to have relief from the addiction.

Now if you chose to have a relapse then I advise you to keep that relapse short in time frame. Anything longer than a couple weeks is very damaging to your brain and could put you in a very serious relapse and back into the addiction. Also, limiting the type of porn would also be helpful in your recovery from your relapse. The best solution is to never have a relapse and to have Modifying Activities that are fulfilling enough to keep you from desiring a relapse.

If you have a relapse after experiencing a recovery, know that it is easier to regain the addiction free wiring since you have already experienced what a porn free life is like. Recovery will be much faster and easier since you already know the steps on how to get to recovery.

You will never feel happy after a slip. The joy you are seeking will not be achieved from pornography as you already know. Use your slips as a reminder that happiness cannot be achieved through watching porn. Learn from your mistakes and move on to activities that do bring you happiness.

Now go out there and live porn free so that you can live the life you were meant to live.

How Long Does It Take to Quit Porn Addiction?

Clock Tower in Paris

The RAMP Solution has a target goal of 8 months for porn recovery. This might seem excessive for some, and it very might well be. However, there is an advantage to those who are prepared for the long haul. For example, if it takes you 4 months or 6 months to heal from your addiction are you at all worse off if you were planning on taking 8 months to recover? The answer is no.

However let’s consider the opposite. What if you were planning on recovering taking only 2 months and you’re now 3 months into your recovery still suffering from powerful triggers (maybe triggers with contradicting beliefs attached to them). There is a very real possibility that the person will think the program is failing him/her and that it’s not working. This can cause to someone giving up.

It is very possible that it will take 10 months to overcome the addiction. This will be very true for the casual user which I imagine will make up the bulk of users. Let’s face it, most of us have a lot of different commitments we have to keep and sometimes we don’t always focus on things we need to do to better ourselves. The casual user will listen to the audio maybe once a month and may even take a month off but will then re-commit to program. Even the casual user will notice significant gains in 8 months. Most likely they will have Modifying Behaviors to meet the needs of some of his/her TROUBLED feelings, thereby defeating certain triggers (Read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED). Once someone has beaten (and realizes that they have beaten) two or three triggers there will be proof that the program will eventually lead to complete recovery. Keeping a journal is one of the most powerful ways to documenting when a trigger has been beaten. (Read: Keep a Journal)

Another factor, beside commitment to the program, is how long you have been addicted. If you have been addicted for decades then you will most likely take more time in rewiring your brain than someone who has been addicted for a few months. And probably a key factor to that statistic is this question: Have you had testosterone in your veins while not being addicted to porn? So many of us were exposed to porn at such a young age that we never had a brain that had testosterone and that was porn free. Or in other words, we have never had brain wiring that was free from pornography while we were maturing into adulthood. The Limbic System will use this fact to try and stall and draw out the recovery process. It will “say” to the other parts of the brain that it cannot be sure if this new brain wiring is safe and that we will be able to survive with the new brain wiring. Remember that the Limbic System’s primary goal is survival (Read: Brain Changes Shape – Steps to Recovery). If you developed your pornography addiction later in life you will find that reverting back to your old wiring is much easier than creating that brain wiring from scratch.

Let’s face it, just like there is no pill to lose weight or get ripped muscles, there is no pill to rewire your brain. With both losing weight and building muscle you also need time. Just like it takes months to grow muscles, it will take months to rewire your brain. The difference is to lose weight it is a simple equation of (energy spent – energy consumed = weight gain or weight loss). To grow muscles you know you need to lift weights. Assortment of different colored pills

But where do you go for brain wiring? First off, most of us when we tried to quit porn alone focused on the porn being the problem. We did not focus on the brain as being the problem. Not knowing that the enemy is an overactive Limbic System caused us to lose the battle automatically (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are). Now that you know that you need to focus on the brain, you need to find a program that will help train you to heal your brain. And again, you will need months to rewire the brain.

For brain rewiring and learning how to quit porn there is the RAMP Solution to porn addiction. It is in audio format which makes it incredible convenient. Listen to it on your way to work when you have your brain free to think. Through the program you will learn effective strategies and activities to heal the brain.

Remember to have fun with rewiring the brain. Learning what excites you and what hobbies you have can be very entertaining. Just like playing sports and changing your exercise routines can keep you engaged and having fun and more likely to complete your fitness goals; it is important to have fun with brain rewiring.

Now go out there and start making brain changes so you can live porn free!

Brain Changes Shape – Steps to Recovery

Brain lifting weightsIf you are familiar with AA meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous) then you are probably familiar with the phrase, “once an addict always an addict.”

This phrase can be overly simplest for something that is complex. It is used to describe a process that has many stages and this simple phrase is not complete and at times is not accurate.

Stages of Recovery

Addicted Person: When someone is an addict they have cravings that are difficult nigh impossible to control.

In-Recovery: Next is someone who is battling the addiction. They have acknowledged the addiction and are now taking steps to recover and allow the brain to heal. This process takes months.

Pre-recovered: Then there is pre-recovered were the person has won back their ability to choose to follow through with a trigger or not. The person sometimes chooses to do their Modifying Behavior and other time chooses to go through with the trigger and the addiction.

Recovered/Maintenance Mode: When the person finally chooses to consistently do their Modifying Behavior the person then becomes recovered from the addiction and goes into Maintenance Mode. Maintenance Mode is where you become more proactive. If you feel bored you do something about it right away. You are no longer looking or needing triggers to get you off the couch and doing your Modifying Activities. You’re continually doing your Modifying Activities just out of routine and habit. This is true recovery and Maintenance Mode.

 

Now as we go through this process of recovery the brain literally changes shape. The folds of the brain change shape. Not all of them but the part of the brain that is strengthening and the part of the brain that is weakening will change shape. This is neuroplasticity or brain plasticity.

Neuroplasticity/Brain Plasticity: refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses which are due to changes in behavior, environment and neural processes, as well as changes resulting from bodily injury (Wikipedia: Neuroplasticity).

That brings us back to the original phrase, “once an addict always an addict.” Is this really true after the brain has literally reformed to a brain that is no longer addicted? When the cravings for porn are manageable and controllable is one still an addict?

The answer is probably “no.” There is little that resembles the actions of an addict including the shape and wiring of the brain.

However, what does ring true to the phrase “once an addict always and addict.” Is that the wiring has happened and could happen again. Relapses are real. The Limbic System can become overactive again if it is allowed to do so by the Frontal Lobe. Also, it is important that the recovered person realize that the addiction can reform an addiction to a different substance. Once having been addicted to porn it should be realized that addictions to alcohol or drugs could form quickly if the person consumes those chemicals. This would be another aspect of the “once an addict always and addict” which is the propensity in which a new and novel addiction can be formed.

If you do slip into a relapse, do not think all is lost. It is not. If you have made it to recovery your brain has found none addiction, brain circuitry that is acceptable not only to the Frontal Lobe but more importantly to the Limbic System. It will be much easier for the Limbic System to accept this circuitry again since it knows it can survive with this brain circuitry.  Remember that the Limbic System’s main goal is survival (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

The brain is very similar to muscles. You might have experienced what some people call “muscle memory.” If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is the idea that if you work out and reach a certain strength that if you stop working out and let yourself go for while, upon returning to working out your muscles will have a rapid growth to where they once were in size. So if it took you 6 months to get to a certain fitness level, and then you stopped working out for a period of time, it won’t take you 6 months to get to your previous fitness level but maybe just a month or two. This is the idea of “muscle memory.”

The brain is the same way. It can bounce back to prior wiring and circuitry than if it was trying to make up the circuitry from scratch. The brain molecules already are familiar with the routine and can reshape and realign themselves to their previous configuration. So if you get to recovery and have a slip, recovery will be much quicker to obtain than when you went through recovery for the first time.

If you have a relapse just know you have to keep up with Maintenance Mode more often and double up on your Modifying Behaviors. Make your Modifying Behaviors daily habits so you don’t have a relapse in the future.

Remember a porn free life is a better life. Really start to live by living porn free!

Imagining Pornstars as Sisters, Daughters or Mothers Does NOT Cure Porn Addiction

Synapse in human neural system

In my youth I was told by well meaning people from church that a good way to avoid porn is to realize that the women in porn are someone’s sister, someone’s daughter or someone’s mother. “What if that was your sister, daughter or mother on the monitor? Would you watch porn then?”

Now I must emphasis that the intention of those who taught this was well meaning, however, the results of their action was lacking. Of course they did not know how pornography addiction works. They didn’t know about the reward mechanism of the brain. They didn’t know about the Limbic System and how it functions and its role in forming a porn addiction.

The Limbic System does not feel sympathy. Its sole exists is to accomplish one basic need: the need for survival. That basic need also includes procreation which in essence is a form of survival. It does this with releasing chemicals in the brain that rewards behavior which it deems as “good.” So if you eat something sugary it will release pleasure chemicals telling you to eat more. Because if you have sugar in your blood you will have energy to run away from something that would potentially end your life. If you eat something fatty then it rewards you because it will believes you can then store that extra fat for when you don’t have food. You’ll have fat reserves to keep you alive during times of famine.

The highest release of chemicals happens during sex. The Limbic System believes that through sex your genetics will be passed on to offspring. Offspring will allow you, in a removed form, to continue living. Creating offspring is the ultimate form of survival, a type of survival with potentially no end. It is logical that the Limbic System would save its best and highest chemical release for procreation (Read: Porn is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

Does the Limbic System care about sympathy? Does it feel regret? Does it feel embarrassment? No! Those feelings don’t have meaning when survival is on the line. The circuitry for those feelings is not in the Limbic System.

So if you are looking at porn and you try and think that the actress is your sister, your daughter or your mother it will not stop the Limbic System from releasing chemicals. It will not stop the desire to watch porn. In fact it might increase the possibility of causing an abnormal addiction. The Limbic System is going to go ahead and release the chemicals while circuitry in the brain that is responsible for sympathy, regret and embarrassment and whatever other emotions not normally associated with sex are fired off. When brain circuitry not normally used during sex goes off while the Limbic System is releasing chemicals these parts of the brain will not know what hit them. It is not normal for the area of the brain that feels regret to fire off while being engulfed by the Limbic System’s chemicals. This can cause abnormalities in the sexual desires of the individual and increase the probability of an addiction forming.

It is not unheard of for someone who has a history of watching porn to begin to watch porn that is not of their natural sexual orientation. This can be very troubling to the individual because they will not understand why their porn preference has changed and no longer match their sexual orientation. This might have started because of the abnormality stated above. If the brain begins to associate the feeling of regret with chemical release of procreation, this association could eventually cause this abnormality of porn not matching the individual’s sexual orientation.

The solution to porn addiction is to work with the brain and help the Limbic System heal. During a porn addiction the Limbic System becomes over reactive. The goal is to let the Limbic System heal so that it does not over react to life. There by allow you to live porn free.

The brain is incredibly elastic. It literally can change its shape and form. It is the truest form of “Mind over Matter.” Your thoughts can actually move matter in your brain. Anything that has been created through porn can be undone. Never give up hope. If you are determined you can heal yourself. I offer the RAMP Solution as your first step to creating this change. Through the RAMP Solution you will learn about your brain and then learn effective strategies and activities to heal your brain.

The Coolidge Effect

Calvin-Coolidge_The Coolidge Effect_Porn Free_cropedThis is a very interesting phenomenon of the brain’s wiring for sex. It is believed to be in most if not all mammals which include humans.

The idea is that a male who has had sex with a partner will have less desire to copulate again with the same female, that the male will reach a state of being “sexual satiated” after sex. However, if that same male is introduced to another female, the male will have a renewed desire to copulate even if he was just in a state of being “sexually satiated.” This is due to a spike or increase in dopamine levels in the brain from a new partner.

In the years of survival, tens and hundreds of thousands of years ago this programming would have been beneficial. Males would have been able to mate with more females and have a decreased desire to mate with the same female. Having offspring with different females would allow for an increased chance of survival for the offspring.

Coolidge Effect is all about the Limbic System. The desire to mate with different females is inherent in male wiring. The Limbic System will reward mating with a new female more than mating with the same female.

However, in modern society the effects of the Coolidge effect now have a negative effect on offspring. No longer is survival in the wilderness a major concern for offspring. Now western societies often give advantages to children who come from a two parent home. This is evident in statistics that show children of two parent households are more likely to become college educated and have higher incomes than children who come from single parent home. What are other areas of advantage?

Additionally, this wiring of our brains can cause havoc with porn addiction. With internet porn there is close to a limitless variety of images of different woman. This can call up the Coolidge effect where we feel a renewed sexual desire when viewing a novel female. (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit; the Triple-A Engine)

Have you experienced the Coolidge Effect?

  •  Have you ever been able to climax multiple times in a short time span by looking at different pornstars?
  • Are you able to look at porn for a longer period of time than you’re able to have sex?
  • Ever found the “perfect” pornstar in your estimations only to quickly lose interest and moved on to other pornstars?
  • Ever chose to look at porn instead of having real sex with your partner?
  • Ever had to think of porn in order to have an orgasm while having sex?

If you have experienced one or more of these events then you were probably experienced the Coolidge Effect.

The Frontal Lobe can be used to rein in the Limbic System and control the Coolidge Effect. The Frontal Lobe is what has given rise to modern human achievements. It is what has created our modern society. As written above our modern society will now punish those that succumb to the Coolidge Effect. If a male has offspring with multiple partners, he will most likely not have the resources or the time to raise them properly. Those offspring will most likely become statistics of the poor advantages of single parent households.

The Frontal Lobe has created this environment where the Coolidge Effect is now a negative type of wiring if not controlled or used properly. It is fitting that the Frontal Lobe will also be able to overpower the Limbic System and allow one to not use the Coolidge Effect negatively. The Frontal Lobe can be trained to overcome the triggers caused by an overactive Limbic System. (Read: The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction: A Brief Overview)

While we have talked about the disadvantages of the Coolidge Effect, we should also talk about the advantages of the Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect will allow a man to live with a woman without forming an addiction to her (Read: Why Haven’t I Become Addicted to Sex Or Wet Dreams?). Without the Coolidge Effect a man would never be sexually satisfied. Needing sex constantly and for endless hours would get old for most females very quickly. The fact that the Coolidge Effect will cause lower levels of dopamine to be released when matting with the same female, in many ways, is a good thing. The institution of marriage and long term pair bonding is possible due to the Coolidge Effect. The Coolidge Effect when having sex with the same female will allow for a man to be “sexually satiated.” This is a good thing. (Read: Sexual Desires: Essential to an Enjoyable Life)Calvin_Coolidge_The Coolidge Effect_Porn Free

Some might think it would be nice to manipulate this wiring in the brain and have endless amounts of sex with different females. But are you ever satisfied with porn? Have you really reached that moment of being “sexually satiated” with porn? Most likely the answer is no. Porn leaves one feeling hollow and without purpose. It takes away a man’s confidence and charisma with women. (Read: Man Wants to Divorce Wife so He Can Watch Porn)

Don’t think of the Coolidge Effect as negative wiring. We have the Frontal Lobe to control this wiring and the Frontal Lobe has created a system were advantage is given to long term pair bonding. This long term pair bonding in humans is possible because of the Coolidge Effect. It is to be celebrated and not feared.

For more information on the Coolidge Effect see this article: http://www.jneurosci.org/content/17/12/4849.full

Watch this video about the Coolidge Effect: The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow

The RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction: A Brief Overview

Success, Man Overlooks city

The Goal

The goal is to stop watching porn and masturbation. The goal is to achieve the many benefits of living a porn free life. (Read: Get the RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction)

The Problem

The RAMP Solution to pornography addiction focuses on teaching you how the game is being played in your mind. The game is this: you have an overactive Limbic System. This over active Limbic System thinks that most negative emotions or states of mind are actually threats to survival. It thinks that the feeling of boredom is a threat to survival or feeling tired is a threat to survival. This is why it is called “overactive” because it is over reacting to common negative emotions. (Read:  Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED) To survive it believes it must release brain chemicals into the brain. To get those brain chemicals it seeks out stimulation. In the case of porn addiction, that stimulant is porn and masturbation. Watching porn and masturbating allows the Limbic System to flush the brain with chemicals and gives it a temporary release. The Limbic System believes it is giving the brain a chance for “survival.”Of course this is not the case, the Limbic System is actually causing more stress on the brain and it is not solving any of the negative emotions that it is trying to cure.

The truth to the addiction and the game that is being played is to show you that you are not addicted to porn but rather the brain chemicals it causes. Brain chemicals are the problem and are at the center of your addiction. Learn how to control the Limbic System and let it heal itself and you will cure your addiction! (Read: Porn Is NOT Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are)

People who don’t know how the game is being played will focus on not watching porn. That is like a basketball team focusing on dribbling and never practices shooting the ball, or a golf player focusing on walking around a golf course and never practices swinging a club. You know this limited technique of practicing will never bring success. So it is with porn addiction, focusing on not watching porn will always bring failure. That is why most of you reading this will have failed countless number of times. It is because you focused on not watching porn instead of focusing on healing the mind which is the source of the addiction.  (Read: How to Talk to Your Mind)

The Solution

The solution includes understanding and documenting triggers. What are triggers? Briefly triggers are made up of two parts.

Part 1: One part is a reminder of the addiction. This can be anything from an attractive girl at school or a billboard along the side of the road that is using sexually suggestive marketing. We are often forced in our modern world to view suggestive material. Avoiding suggestive material is not the point of the RAMP solution, the point is to be able to recognize when a trigger happens. So when you see something that excites you sexually instantly you should start evaluating if you are having a trigger. The RAMP Solution teaches you to recognize the moment a trigger happens. Time is of the essence. Limiting the amount of time the Limbic System can use to pump chemicals will limit the amount of chemicals in the brain and give you a better chance of avoiding a slip. (Read:  Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED)

Part 2: The trigger needs you to be in a compromised state of mind. This means feeling TROUBLED. When you are emotionally compromised you will find that your Limbic System is easily triggered. Like part 1, part 2 is often out of your control. At some point in the day or week we will be in a TROUBLED state. That is just part of life. The point is not to avoid feeling negative feelings but to be able to recognize which feelings we are feeling. And then to have a Modifying Behavior that we have in place to satisfy the negative feeling. (Read: Clint Eastwood Versus Richard Simmons)

It is also highly recommended that you keep a journal. The journal can be used to document times of day when triggers happen. It can tell you what types of emotions give you more problems than others. It can help you see patterns that often form with triggers. Identifying these patterns will help you be able to dissect triggers so that you can defeat them.

Also, a journal will help you realize the effects of the program. Often the healing of the mind is subtle and unnoticeable. Working out the mind is often like a muscle. It will little by little get stronger. Often it is hard to document the day to day changes. It is easier to notice changes over months. However, with muscles there is a visual change which is not perceivable with brain changes. The brain will actually change shape as you heal. But because it is surrounded by your skull you will never see the folds of your brain change shape. However, there is a very real physical healing that will happen with your brain as you heal. Keeping a journal will help you realize and document these often unperceivable changes. (Read: Keep a Journal)

During a trigger you will feel the desire to have a slip. In the beginning it is ok to have slips. Addictions take time and slips are inevitable. Just like falling on a bicycle is inevitable when learning how to ride a bike (Read: Why Signing Contracts or Promises Are Counterproductive).

While slips are natural in the learning process, eventually you need to train your mind to eventually not go through with slips. In the RAMP Solution, your last defense against a trigger is to complete the RAMP process. ONCE YOU START THE RAMP PROCESS IT MUST BE FOLLOWED ALL THE WAY THROUGH! Do not let a slip during the process stop you from completing the RAMP process. This is very tempting to do as your mind will be put in a false sense of security because of the brain chemicals released during the slip. So in the beginning it is okay to have a slip while completing the RAMP process. However, it is not okay to stop the RAMP process until it has been completed all the way through. All the way to Self Praise.

RAMP is an acronym that stands for Recognize, Actions, Modify and Praise. In the program you will learn how to:

  • RECOGNIZE. Learn how to recognize the moment a trigger happens. You will also learn how to dissect a trigger which will allow you to better defeat future triggers.
  • ACTIONS. What physical actions to take to help you resist the trigger and the brain chemicals they cause.
  • MODIFY. You will learn how Modifying Activities can calm the Limbic System. Learn how to tailor Modifying Activities to different types of triggers.

Learn more about the RAMP Solution by getting the complete 2+ hour program at one of these distributors:

itunes-Stop Porn_100x100           Amazon_MP3_Stop Porn_100x100           GooglePlay_Stop Porn_100x100
Or visit the sales page at StopPornToday.com

Teens & Porn: Why Teens Are Most Susceptible to Porn Addiction

man x-rayMost of us who suffer or have suffered from porn addiction formed the addiction in our teen years. In fact I would say the vast majority of people formed their compulsion during their teen years.

Why is that the case? Why are teenagers at such a high risk for pornography addiction?

For one, the frontal lobes of teens have not fully developed (Maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex, US Department of Health & Human Services). The frontal lobe is where higher forms of thought come into play. Were reasoning is fully developed. The frontal lobes are the part of the brain that makes us distinct from other animals.

With this part of the brain not being fully developed, teens are more likely to make incorrect decisions. Not only are they not going to make correct decisions but they are going to seek out experiences that produce rewarding stimulation to the brain. This can include the chemicals produced by porn. By viewing porn and masturbating the brain produces chemicals that the teen brain is craving.

This craving for new chemical reactions in the brain is why teens are more likely than any other age group to form depression, anxiety, drug use, eating disorders and drug use. It should be no surprise that porn addiction would also be a hallmark of many teenagers. (Risk Taking and Novelty Seeking in Adolescence, Ann E. Kelley, Terri Schochet & Charles F. Landry)

Another reason why teens are more susceptible to porn compulsion is because they are new to sexual desires. They are unprepared for the desire to procreate. This can catch many off guard.

This is especially dangerous because pornographers are making it extremely easy for youth to access pornography. There are estimations of 70% or more of teenagers between the ages of 15 and 17 will inadvertently come across porn on the internet (Baylor University & Kaiser Family Foundation). In my mind this is no accident. Pornographers are making it intentionally easy for youth to access pornography.

Conclusion

Many of you formed your addiction while in the teen years. Some of you blame yourselves for the addiction and that is not the truth. I want you to know that in many ways this addiction chose you and you are innocent. In many instances you were targeted by pornographers because of your vulnerability. Your pornography addiction is not your fault and it is time that you realize that aspect of the addiction. You are innocent and this addiction was not your fault.

Being the victim does not help either. You can now do something about it. You don’t have to be a pawn in someone’s game. You can rise up and learn how the game is being played in your mind. You can heal your own brain and become addiction free. You can be porn free.

While in many ways this addiction was done to you, you don’t have to sit ideally by and continue to live with it. Try the RAMP Solution to Porn Addiction!

Can I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams?

Blonde girl lingerie camisole in bed coupleIt is true that porn uses the same brain wiring to create chemical releases as sex and wet dreams. However, there is a decisive difference between porn and the more healthy uses of sex. And that is focus and control.

Porn

With porn you almost have perfect control over what you will view, the length of time you will view it (or lack of time restraints might be more accurate), and when you will orgasm. Also, the focus is on getting you high and eventually to orgasm.

Sex

With sex you do not have perfect control if the sex will even happen on a certain day. And you certain don’t always know how long it will last or even how the sex will be done. The focus is on you but also on your partner. You are also concerned about her experience during love making. This causes the brain to fire in different areas to be able to relate to her. Additionally, there may be conversations that take place during sex. There are negotiations that might happen such as you getting to do a little of what you want in exchange for her getting a little of what she wants. All of this interaction takes some of the focus out of just pleasure.

Also, there is wiring in the brain which will limit the amount of dopamine released when the sex is performed with someone we have already had sex with before. This limits the control you have on releasing brain chemicals. It also allows us to reach “Sexual Satiation” or the feeling of sexually satisfied. This wiring is known as the “Coolidge Effect.” You can read more about the Coolidge Effect here: The Coolidge Effect.

Wet Dreams

With wet dreams you have even less control if you will be able to have a wet dream and thus have brain chemicals released. The focus can be all over the place as the subconscious mind works out problems and scenarios during the dream. So even wet dreams are not all about releasing chemicals there are other things at play as well.

Conclusion

With porn, this absolute control and focus allows porn to become highly addictive. The Limbic System of your brain likes the idea of having something that is predictable. The Limbic System is in charge of keeping you alive. So if it can find a solution to every type of negative event it is going to jump for joy and desire that solution as much as possible. By forming an addiction the Limbic System thinks that it just found the fountain of youth, an event that can cure any type of problem, a panacea (Read: Porn Is Not Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

So as a result of this “panacea” the limbic system will desire porn as a solution to every type of negative event. If you feel tired, it will desire porn. If you are bored, it will desire porn. If you feel lonely, it will desire porn. Anything that can be considered negative could potentially become a trigger for porn. The Limbic System will believe porn to be the evolutionary jack pot and will desire it above all else.

With sex and wet dreams this desire is there but it is not absolute. Because of the lack of guarantees, the Limbic System will desire it but not to the extent of forming an addiction.

However, that is not to say that a sex addiction is not possible. Say if a man were able to create a group of women each willing to have sex at different times. That man could develop an addiction to sex. If the man had absolute control over having sex then sex could quickly become an addiction.

If you are limited to your one partner, then most likely you will never develop an addiction to sex. A strong desire for sex will be present but not an addiction. Again this is because of the Coolidge Effect.

The RAMP Solution to porn addiction uses a Modifying activity (The “M” in RAMP) to break the Limbic System’s cycle. A simple example would be if you are tired and you have a history of having triggers happen when you are tired. The obvious Modifying activity would be to take a nap. So after your nap there is a very good chance that your Limbic System will no longer feel a desire for porn. There still may be a desire, however, the nap will cause the Limbic System to relax and say that the nap was “good enough for now.” Of course minutes later you might start to feel bored and the Limbic System will jump up and start screaming for porn again. At which time you do another Modifying activity that again allows the Limbic system to relax and say “good enough for now.”

After you have gone through enough of these “good enough for now” events the Limbic System will eventually stop desiring porn. This can take around 8 months to accomplish. At which time the Limbic System will know that the rest of the brain will not go along with its demands for porn and that there are other activities that are good enough and do not bring the shame that is felt after a slip.

Get the RAMP solution and start training your Limbic System to desire other things other than porn! www.StopPornToday.com

Compulsion or Addiction?

Alma_Mater_and_the_Library_of_Columbia_University_Resized

Columbia University’s short answer to the difference between a compulsion and an addiction is as follows:

The distinction between a compulsion and an addiction is a fine one because the terms are sometimes misused and the medical profession’s conception of each changes as new research becomes available. Addiction and compulsion each have biologic/genetic and psychological components and each involves a perceived lack of control by the individual facing them. However, there are some key differences to keep in mind when using these terms.

A compulsion is a repetitive, ritualistic behavior that a person performs without rational motivation. Compulsive actions and behaviors offer temporary relief from anxiety — in turn, the need to reduce this anxiety is what drives the compulsive behavior. Sometimes this anxiety takes the form of obsessive thoughts related to the compulsive behavior (i.e., fear of germs and hand-washing), but often the compulsive behavior has no clear relation to anything in particular (the need to walk all the way around one’s car clockwise before getting in).

Addictions, similar to compulsions, can offer relief from stress or anxiety, but are characterized primarily by an inability to discontinue a harmful behavior despite its negative consequences. Common addictions include unhealthy and repeated (over)use of alcohol, drugs, gambling, or smoking, for example. Addictions are easily formed to behaviors that provide physical or psychological pleasure or relief from pain.

Many people exhibit habitual behavior, but compulsions and addictions refer to those instances where these behaviors disrupt an individual’s ability to function. In fact, compulsions and addictions can be debilitating or become destructive if untreated, for the individual and/or her/his family, friends, and others. Individuals dealing with compulsion or addiction need to seek evaluation from a medical or mental health professional who can recommend behavioral therapy, medication, and/or group-run recovery programs to help restore a sense of control over their behavior.

Right now, porn addiction would fall in the lesser category of “compulsion” by most psychologist. However, I believe that definition is destined to change as more is learned about the brain chemicals released during a porn viewing.

Additionally, porn is using the same reward mechanism that drugs use. The main difference is that a chemical is not physically ingested.

Also, changing the definition may change the way insurance companies treat porn addiction. There may be resistance from insurance companies to label porn as an addiction rather than a compulsion. This resistance will be noticed by the psychology community.

In this website both of the terms compulsion and addiction will be used to describe porn. This is done mainly because most people will not know about the term compulsion. And secondly, most people on this website won’t care what the term is they just want help to quit.

Some people have called porn harder to quit than hard drugs. With the Triple A-Engine it is no wonder why that would be the case. Just because porn is currently termed a compulsion by most is no reason to think that it is less difficult to overcome. Porn can be challenge to overcome.

However, with effective strategies and activities it can be dealt with and the mind can heal and be porn free once again. Get the RAMP Solution to porn addiction if you need help.

USA - CIRCA 1954 Columbia University