Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit; the Triple-A Engine

Grunge Stempel rot FREE!Why is porn so hard to quit?

The reasons are availability, anonymity and affordability now called “triple-A engine” by Dr. Al Cooper. The internet has critically changed the way porn is now accessed.

With previous generations you had to physically buy porn at a gas station or go to places and see it live. This made it a challenge to view porn on a daily basis. Also the variety of porn was limited. This caused many to be shielded from forming an addiction to porn.

AVAILABILITY

However, with the internet almost everyone will be exposed to porn. Not only will everyone be exposed but the variety will be like never before. If someone searches porn long enough on the internet eventually and inevitably that person will find a genre of porn that is intriguing. Now that is not say that everyone who is exposed will form a compulsion to porn, however, the likelihood of a compulsion forming increases dramatically as the availability of different types of porn is created.

This all encompassing exposure to porn plus the ever increasing genres of porn is the AVAILABILITY portion of the “triple-A engine.”

Availability can cause addictions to be extremely difficult to cure. Some people who have quit both cigarettes and hard drugs have called the addiction to cigarettes harder to quit simply because of their availability.

The male brain is wired to take advantage of available females. This is old wiring and would give advantage to those who had this wiring thousands of years ago when survival of the elements was the leading cause of death. But today, in modern society this wiring does not give an advantage to those that use it. The idea is that a male will not reach “sexual satiation” as long as there is a new or novel female willing to have sex. With porn, this causes a serious problem. Essentially as long as the viewer changes the pornstar being viewed the viewer will not reach “sexual satiation.” Essentially causing an endless desire to view porn as the availability of novel females is virtually endless. This wiring has been given the name of the “Coolidge Effect.” (Read: The Coolidge Effect)

ANONYMITY

Today, people no longer need to travel to view porn. They no longer need to fear getting caught entering into a strip club or purchasing porn at a store. Now it is available from home with the viewing of it being easily deletable from their web browser. This allows the viewer of porn with a low chance of being caught by others. Without the humiliation of being caught, many have deemed porn to be natural and causing no harm to the brain of the viewer.

Anonymity has also allowed some to seek out genres of porn that they otherwise would be too ashamed to view. This can lead some to think that their viewing is untraceable. Some have given themselves a false sense of security and began looking at illegal forms of porn. Your internet service provider will not protect your identity if you are looking at illegal forms of porn.

AFFORDABILITY

Thanks to the internet free porn is everywhere now. No longer does one have to choose between a slurpee or a porn magazine. Now the person can have both. This affordability makes the consumption of porn to be non-ending. Also, affordability allows for the under aged who often do not have credit cards to be able to view porn. As discussed in other articles, it is the youth who are the most susceptible to forming porn compulsions.

With free porn, no longer is the checkbook a stop to porn viewing.

CONCLUSION

The mind wants to be porn free. It does not want to be addicted to porn. So with time it slowly shuts off the high that is received from porn viewing. The lowered high creates a desire to reach the highs that were achieved during the beginning stages of the addiction. This desire will cause the viewer to do one of two things: either watch more graphic forms of porn or to watch porn for greater lengths of time. The three A’s of porn will facilitate with both avenues to increase stimulation. This is what can make the addiction harder to break.

The answer is not to cut the internet from your life or to install a porn blocker. Both have serious limitations and are only band aids to the problem. The real solution is to work on your mind. To heal your mind so that you can live a porn free life. Living porn free will give you a life much happier than the one you have now.

You might have already tried to quit porn without success. Part of the reason for your lack of success is because you lacked information on how the mind works. You probably tried quitting by sheer force of will which will fall every time. Try quitting with effective strategies and activities to heal your brain. Try http://www.StopPornToday.com/ now.

Why Signing Contracts or Promises Are Counterproductive

Signing contracts or promising never to watch porn seems like a good idea especially to the other person in the relationship who does not have the compulsion. It seems logical. However, with a compulsion as strong as pornography and how it works with the brain, this tactic will be counterproductive.

Here is the reason. I like the “learning to ride a bicycle” analogy because it’s all about the brain learning how to balance the body. Would you ever have someone sign a contract or promise to never fall on a bike as they are learning to ride? Of course not, because falling down is part of the learning process.

Couple looking at a contractSo it is with learning to stop a porn addiction. Overcoming porn has everything to do about falling down. Every slip during the compulsion allows for a glimpse at the triggers that caused the slip. Knowing what the emotions are that cause triggers will allow the person to strategically pick Modifying Behaviors that will satisfy the trigger without using the addiction.

Slips are necessary to recovery as much as falling off the bike is necessary to learning balance.

We know about the TROUBLED feelings. Signing a contract that says you will never watch porn again will only amplify the “R” of TROUBLED (Regret) when you do have a slip. The downward spiral is fed by regret. The negative feelings after having a slip will be amplified many more times because not only did you have a slip but now you broke your contract on top of it. To overcome the addiction you must build on success and not failure. To overcome the addiction you must stress the successes and minimize the failures. Chalk up failures as learning opportunities and not as dishonest, contract breaking failures.

Would you set up a ramp for the person learning to ride a bicycle? No, of course not! You know the kid is going to go face first into the ground if you did. So don’t have your porn addicted partner sign a contract about never watching porn.

Instead be a source of encouragement to your porn addicted partner. Don’t ask about failures but ask about successes. Some triggers are easier to discover and beat than others. So ask about which triggers they have identified and how their modifying behaviors are working. Sometimes the person overcoming the addiction will not even realize that they’ve just completely eliminated a certain type of trigger. Pointing out that they have not had a slip with a certain type of trigger will be a huge discovery. Realizing that the Limbic System has accepted a Modifying Behavior for a certain emotion/trigger is an extremely joyful event in the process of overcoming the addiction.

Being porn free is a learning process, but once it is learned a person is so many times happier. Helping someone overcome the addiction will be something they will be forever grateful to you for doing. And it will only strengthen and give appreciation for the relationship with you.

Clint Eastwood Versus Richard Simmons

Clint_Eastwood_DOI_1675_Porn_FreeWe all know who wins, Clint Eastwood. And 99.99% of the people reading this will agree that Clint Eastwood wins. Wins at what, you might ask? It doesn’t matter, Clint Eastwood wins. Most likely most of us, the vast majority, would identify ourselves more with the Clint Eastwood camp than with the Richard Simmons camp.

However, I would like to make a simple and generalized characterization of the two. I have never met nor do I know either of them personally. So everything I say is just a generalization here.

Clint Eastwood almost always portrays a man who doesn’t back down from anything. When you think of masculinity, you would put that characteristic with Eastwood over Simmons. Clint Eastwood is more of the silent but deadly type of person. When Eastwood says something you know he means it.

In contrast Richard Simmons is more of a bubbly girl rather than masculine. Simmons wears his heart on his sleeve. Simmons is more of a touchy feely person. If you met Simmons, you probably don’t need to ask Simmons how he is doing because he already told you at least once how he is doing and how he is feeling.

Again these are just very basic generalizations and stereo types of these two types of men.

Now when it comes to overcoming porn and living porn free, it should be noted that Eastwood would most likely have a porn problem than Simmons. The reason is obviously associated with the treatment of feelings.

Are feelings real?

Ask yourself that question and most likely you would say no. And I would answer the same way. You can’t touch feelings or see feelings. Feelings don’t have colors or shapes. You can’t prove I feel one way or the other. Most likely Clint Eastwood’s characters in the movies would answer that feelings are not real.

Now, to quit porn, you don’t have to become like Richard Simmons. Porn addiction would be near impossible to quit if that were the case. But what I am saying is that for this one instance, for this goal you have created for yourself to quit porn, you need to consider your feelings. Your mood is very much at the heart of porn addiction. Being in the TROUBLED state will increase the likely hood of having a trigger (read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED).

The point is not to pretend that we are not angry or tired or over stressed. The point is to recognize these feelings and to do something about them. You must realize that these negative feelings are really calls to action. They are telling you, you need to do something. If you are stressing out about something, then that is a feeling that you need to keep organizing yourself and working towards solving whatever it is that is causing you stress. If you are tired, that is a feeling telling you that you need to take a break.

You need to keep a constant monitor on your mood. This is not something you will be used to doing. This will seem awkward at first and you may even need to ask yourself out loud “How am I feeling right now?” Or “What is my mood right now?” Just do it until you being to learn to monitor your mood constantly and internally.

When you do have a trigger, you will be already ahead of the game if you have been monitoring your mood. If you know you have been stressing out over a test, you will be prepared for triggers and you will already have the solution on hand. The solution will be exercising to reduce the stress and to study for the test to reduce the chances of feeling stressed again in the near future. The solution would be the “M” or the Modifying behavior in the RAMP solution.

Monitoring your mood will eventually allow you to be proactive instead of reactive to the addiction. It will allow you to act before a trigger even happens. As you do this, with time, the Limbic System will begin to calm itself. With time triggers will even begin to go away because they are simply not needed anymore.

You don’t need to be a touchy feely person to overcome the addiction. You definitely don’t need to share your mood or feelings with others but you do need to keep an internal dialog with yourself of how you are feeling.

Clint Eastwood always wins and always kicks the crap out of the other person. The same you will do as well, kick the crap out of this addiction. It is inevitable.

Clint Eastwood YouTube Video

Vs

Richard Simmons YouTube Video

Religion’s Duality: How It Causes and Cures Porn Addiction

Stone angelsReligion and how it creates and cures porn addiction

Hear me out on this one. And before I begin, let me say that I think religion overall is much more beneficial than it is detrimental. However, you should know how your religious beliefs affect your relationship with porn. A promise was made that the truth will set you free. See if the following is true for you.

Religion almost always discourages pornography and masturbation. And for good reason too as it can develop into a compulsion similar to an addiction. This compulsion is probably something you have and the desire to end it has gotten you here to this website.

The thought of doing something that is contrary to your beliefs causes grief and regret. If you are familiar with the RAMP Solution to porn addiction then you know Regret is the “R” in the TROUBLED feelings. The feeling of regret can cause you to have another trigger.

Also, combining the feelings of regret or shame to the high caused by pornography and masturbation will create a unique cocktail of chemicals for the brain. Shame and regret will cause areas of the brain to fire that are not normally active during a normal brain response to sexual activity. This has the potential to create a unique high that is only available to highly religious people.

So being religious can actually give you a greater high and increase your disposition for pornography addiction.

I should clarify that religion is not the problem. Religion may have helped cause the addiction but it certainly was not the deciding factor to creating the compulsion in your mind. Most of the causes of pornography addiction are innocent and caused by natural curiosity. The blame game is not very productive at any rate.

While religion is effective at saying not to look at pornography, religion is somewhat weak when it comes to finding a solution to the addiction.  Often the solution they give is to pray and fast. If spiritual emptiness (Emptiness is the “E” in TROUBLED) is not one of your main triggers; then those activities will do little to stop the addiction. I hope that those activities will help you arrive at a place like this website so that you can get the answers.

And that brings us to the highlight of religion. What religion has done for you through all these years is help you have a hope. Hope that there is a solution to your problem. If you’re still alive and kicking after being addicted for years then religion will play a major role in you finding the cure. Who else but a religious person with strong faith would still fight the compulsion after years or decades?

I occasionally go to Yahoo Answers to shamefully promote my ideas on quitting porn. And often there are people who ask about how to quit porn. And even though the question is “how to quit porn” and not “is porn bad or good,” inevitably there will be a number of people, mainly males, who say there is nothing wrong with porn. That porn is natural and good. I feel sorry for them. I am sure that they have tried to stop numerous times and failed every time. And because they have failed so many times they have now labeled pornography and masturbation as natural and good.

And if you are honest with yourself, without your faith in religion would you have given up by now and accepted excuses and lies as truth? At any rate, that is not your fate. If you believe you will overcome porn addiction, you are right. Quitting porn has so much to do with our belief that it can be done. Knowing that it can be done is by far the most compelling reason to finding the solution. So religion has certainly been a good thing. It has kept you alive and kicking. You are still fighting the good fight. Be certain that God would not ask you to do something if he did not prepare a way for you to accomplish and succeed.