We all know who wins, Clint Eastwood. And 99.99% of the people reading this will agree that Clint Eastwood wins. Wins at what, you might ask? It doesn’t matter, Clint Eastwood wins. Most likely most of us, the vast majority, would identify ourselves more with the Clint Eastwood camp than with the Richard Simmons camp.
However, I would like to make a simple and generalized characterization of the two. I have never met nor do I know either of them personally. So everything I say is just a generalization here.
Clint Eastwood almost always portrays a man who doesn’t back down from anything. When you think of masculinity, you would put that characteristic with Eastwood over Simmons. Clint Eastwood is more of the silent but deadly type of person. When Eastwood says something you know he means it.
In contrast Richard Simmons is more of a bubbly girl rather than masculine. Simmons wears his heart on his sleeve. Simmons is more of a touchy feely person. If you met Simmons, you probably don’t need to ask Simmons how he is doing because he already told you at least once how he is doing and how he is feeling.
Again these are just very basic generalizations and stereo types of these two types of men.
Now when it comes to overcoming porn and living porn free, it should be noted that Eastwood would most likely have a porn problem than Simmons. The reason is obviously associated with the treatment of feelings.
Are feelings real?
Ask yourself that question and most likely you would say no. And I would answer the same way. You can’t touch feelings or see feelings. Feelings don’t have colors or shapes. You can’t prove I feel one way or the other. Most likely Clint Eastwood’s characters in the movies would answer that feelings are not real.
Now, to quit porn, you don’t have to become like Richard Simmons. Porn addiction would be near impossible to quit if that were the case. But what I am saying is that for this one instance, for this goal you have created for yourself to quit porn, you need to consider your feelings. Your mood is very much at the heart of porn addiction. Being in the TROUBLED state will increase the likely hood of having a trigger (read: Triggers and the Acronym TROUBLED).
The point is not to pretend that we are not angry or tired or over stressed. The point is to recognize these feelings and to do something about them. You must realize that these negative feelings are really calls to action. They are telling you, you need to do something. If you are stressing out about something, then that is a feeling that you need to keep organizing yourself and working towards solving whatever it is that is causing you stress. If you are tired, that is a feeling telling you that you need to take a break.
You need to keep a constant monitor on your mood. This is not something you will be used to doing. This will seem awkward at first and you may even need to ask yourself out loud “How am I feeling right now?” Or “What is my mood right now?” Just do it until you being to learn to monitor your mood constantly and internally.
When you do have a trigger, you will be already ahead of the game if you have been monitoring your mood. If you know you have been stressing out over a test, you will be prepared for triggers and you will already have the solution on hand. The solution will be exercising to reduce the stress and to study for the test to reduce the chances of feeling stressed again in the near future. The solution would be the “M” or the Modifying behavior in the RAMP solution.
Monitoring your mood will eventually allow you to be proactive instead of reactive to the addiction. It will allow you to act before a trigger even happens. As you do this, with time, the Limbic System will begin to calm itself. With time triggers will even begin to go away because they are simply not needed anymore.
You don’t need to be a touchy feely person to overcome the addiction. You definitely don’t need to share your mood or feelings with others but you do need to keep an internal dialog with yourself of how you are feeling.
Clint Eastwood always wins and always kicks the crap out of the other person. The same you will do as well, kick the crap out of this addiction. It is inevitable.