Your mind is unbelievably fast. It can process complex and imaginary thoughts in fractions of a second. It can create images that it has never seen before. Because of the speed at which the mind functions it can be heavily influenced by suggestion.
Here is an example. Think of a gray elephant with long floppy ears and a long trunk. Now imagine that same elephant but make it a green elephant.
Although you have never seen a green elephant in your life your mind had no problem making one.
Now here is another exercise. Try NOT to think of a green elephant. I bet it is too late. As soon as you read the words “green elephant” your mind was off to the races and had already plastered the picture in your mind. Especially since it already has green elephants on the mind.
The speed of our brains is certainly an advantage in almost every instance imagined. However, with porn addiction it can be a hindrance if you ignore this feature of your mind. If you want to quit porn then you must work with your mind and not against it. Remember you want the Limbic System (the cause of the problem) to be your ally and not your enemy. So work with your mind to coax it to rewire itself so you can quit porn for good.
As the exercise above showed, you cannot tell your mind to not think about something. Or at least it is extremely difficult to approach the mind with something not to think about. Most likely that has been the crux of your quitting strategy in the past. With a clenched fist and by sheer force of will you have been telling your mind to “stop watching porn.” As the above exercise showed, this is a failed strategy because you are not working with your mind. Every time you tell your mind to “stop watching porn” it hears “watch porn.”
Your past strategy has been self defeating. You cannot resist the addiction. Resisting the addiction only makes it more real in your mind. Resistance also creates strong emotions within you and these emotions only further ingrain the addiction into your mind.
It has been shown that your mind will have a substantial increase in memory if it is under the influence of a powerful emotion. Even physical pain can cause a heightened ability to create memories. Need to study for a test, slap yourself in the face before you start studying. Just look around and make sure no one is watching. That is a joke but there is truth to it. Take a second and think back on times when you had physical pain. Most likely you can think of things that happened many years ago and the memories will be some of the most vivid memories you have. Even if you haven’t thought about the incident for years the memories remain vivid.
So when you told your mind “stop watching porn” and you said it with a very high emotional background you were really just further ingraining the addiction in your mind. Now that is not to say that the compulsion to porn is now forever ingrained. The mind is incredibly elastic and can be reshaped. And that which has been learned can be forgotten or at least not utilized.
Remember you are not addicted porn. You are addicted to the chemicals it produces in your mind!
When you are no longer addicted and you stumble upon porn on the internet you will be able to appreciate it. You will be able to tell yourself “that was interesting but not for me.” I have this and this to do, see you later porn. Notice how there is less resistance to that state of mind. Treat it as if you saw an owl in a tree. Oh that’s slightly interesting but I’m on my way to school/work. Then give your mind something else to think about.
That is how you work with your mind by giving it something to think about. The “M” in the RAMP Solution to porn addiction (buy it at www.StopPornToday.com) uses this technique to offer your mind a Modifying behavior. The Modifying behavior gives your mind something to think about and thereby not to think addiction. The RAMP Solution does not resist the addiction but only steers the mind to think and work on something else. The mind only thinks about one thing at a time, despite what multitaskers believe.
This substitution technique does not work instantaneously. As it has been stated above, depending on how long you have had the addiction; the addiction may be quite ingrained in your mind. This will take time to undo. Shoot for 8 months to cure. However, make no mistake about it, without a doubt it can be undone.
The substitution technique is not for the lazy. You must do the modifying behavior even if you have slip. This is exceptionally important. After having a slip you will have that chemical rush and then you will have the regret that follows. This state of mind will want to keep you from achieving and from going out and doing your modifying activity. YOU MUST STILL GO OUT AND DO YOUR MODIFYING ACTIVITY EVEN IF YOU HAD A SLIP. Doing the modifying activity is the only way the mind can be trained to accept a different activity instead of the porn.
Once the brain has a modifying activity it will slowly begin to accept it as an acceptable solution instead of using porn. And eventually the cravings will dissipate and will not dictate your life. You can live the life you were meant to live. You will be able to enjoy the simple things of life. You will have a more constant feeling of well being. This feeling of well being will be one that not only you feel but the people around you will feel it too. Your life will be noticeable different.