Top 3 Excuses Porn Addicts Use to Stay Addicted

No excuse pen and paper

Do you use these excuses? Do you know someone who does? Let’s analyze these excuses and how they hold you back from living a porn free life.

1. All men watch pornography. Boys will be boys.

2. Pornography doesn’t affect me.

3. It’s impossible to quit. I’ve already tried.

In order to start the recovery one must admit that something is wrong. That the addiction is getting in the way of living life. This is not as easy as it may sound.

A drug addict or an alcoholic can get to a physical breaking point where the body simply cannot take in more drugs or alcohol. The body does not have such a breaking point with porn. Therefore it allows most porn addicted people to be high functioning addicts, meaning that the addict can hold down a job or go to school. The affects of porn are subtle with things like lack of confidence, being tired due to lack of sleep and being moody. These can be overlooked as just bad character traits by those around the addicted person and the porn addiction can be hidden.

Where a drug addict or an alcoholic can have family and friends step in and encourage recovery, a porn addicted person is less likely to have this happen. Perhaps a girlfriend or wife would be in a position to discover the addiction but outside of these very intimate relationships a porn addicted person does not have much encouragement to seek recovery. It many instances and in many ways it is up to the addicted person themselves to seek help.

Having excuses can keep a porn addict person in their addiction indefinitely. These excuses will keep someone from truly experience what a porn free life is like. Holding them from experience the joy life has to offer. Let’s now examine these excuses:

1. All men watch pornography. Boys will be boys.

Most good excuses have an element of truth to them. It is true that a problem with porn addiction is the pervasiveness at which pornography is viewed. It is estimated that 87% of men (aged 18-26) and 31% of females (aged 18-26) reported using pornography. Additionally, 67% of the young men and 49% of the young women believed viewing pornography as acceptable (Generation XXX Pornography Acceptance and Use Among Emerging Adults).

However, not all men look at porn. And it wasn’t this way in the past. Men did not look at as much porn as they do today. A big reason for this is the Triple-A Engine of the internet (Read: Why Free Porn Is Hard to Quit: the Triple-A Engine). To confront this excuse you need to focus on what you are missing out on in life. One of the biggest complaints from porn addiction is the lack of confidence and the lack of the ability to talk to women. Another major complaint from porn addicts is the lack of desire to have sex even leading to erectile dysfunction. These might not be your major complaints but there is some aspect of your life that is not being fulfilled because the addiction is getting in the way. Focus on this/these issues to get over the excuse that “everyone does it.”

2. Pornography doesn’t affect me.

Another limiting feature of the porn addicted person is the age at which he/she is exposed to pornography. With most being exposed to pornography between the ages of 14 and 17, it is very possible that people with pornography addiction have never experienced post puberty without being addicted to porn. This would limit what their ability to know what a normal life should be like with no real reference of what a porn free life is like (University of New Hampshire: The Nature and Dynamics of Internet Pornography Exposure for Youth).

If you think pornography addiction does not affect you, it might be because you have never lived post-puberty without being addicted to porn. You have no idea what a porn free life is like and you have no reference to compare your current life to a porn free life. Ask yourself how long you have been looking at porn and when the addiction started. For the vast majority, this addiction started in the teen years. If this is true for you, consider that you really do not have a reference point to really know how porn has affected your life.

It is very unlikely that porn addiction has not affected your life. Below is a chart that shows how pornography exposure correlates to changes in sexual attitudes.

Increased exposure to pornography does correlate with changes in sexual attitudes:

Exposure and sexual attitudes chart Exposure to Sexually Explicit Web Sites and Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors

3. It’s impossible to quit. I’ve already tried.

Like always, there is a bit of truth to this excuse. If you have been addicted since your teen years and your now in your adulthood, you probably have tried to quit dozens of times. Every time you tried to quit you were met with failure.  It is impossible to quit porn if you don’t know how to do it. If your idea of quitting porn is to focus on the porn then you will fail every time. If you are telling yourself “stop looking at porn.” What your brain really hears is “look at porn.” Focusing on the porn will not be successful (Read: How to Talk to Your Mind).

You need to learn how the game is being played in your mind. You need to learn strategies and activities you can do to work with your mind to heal it. Once you heal your mind you will then have the choice to look at porn or not look at porn. After you consistently choose not to look at porn the addiction will leave you. The overwhelming need to look at porn, the triggers, will not be felt or if they are felt they will be seldom and they desire weaker and manageable. You need to learn about your mind. You need to know who the real enemy is. Once you have a game plan you can then execute the game plan and start winning the addiction. As always, it is recommended that you try the RAMP Solution to porn addiction to get the game plan you need to start winning.

Thanks for reading. Now go out there and start living a porn free life.

 

 

Comments

  1. Hi,
    Like the website and the content. Good stuff and much needed.
    If you’re curious in checking out the discipline also needed to quit porn and other harmful/wasteful things, check out
    http://learningthesteel.com/books

    Keep the good anti-porn stuff coming!

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