Can I Become Addicted to Sex or Wet Dreams?

Blonde girl lingerie camisole in bed coupleIt is true that porn uses the same brain wiring to create chemical releases as sex and wet dreams. However, there is a decisive difference between porn and the more healthy uses of sex. And that is focus and control.

Porn

With porn you almost have perfect control over what you will view, the length of time you will view it (or lack of time restraints might be more accurate), and when you will orgasm. Also, the focus is on getting you high and eventually to orgasm.

Sex

With sex you do not have perfect control if the sex will even happen on a certain day. And you certain don’t always know how long it will last or even how the sex will be done. The focus is on you but also on your partner. You are also concerned about her experience during love making. This causes the brain to fire in different areas to be able to relate to her. Additionally, there may be conversations that take place during sex. There are negotiations that might happen such as you getting to do a little of what you want in exchange for her getting a little of what she wants. All of this interaction takes some of the focus out of just pleasure.

Also, there is wiring in the brain which will limit the amount of dopamine released when the sex is performed with someone we have already had sex with before. This limits the control you have on releasing brain chemicals. It also allows us to reach “Sexual Satiation” or the feeling of sexually satisfied. This wiring is known as the “Coolidge Effect.” You can read more about the Coolidge Effect here: The Coolidge Effect.

Wet Dreams

With wet dreams you have even less control if you will be able to have a wet dream and thus have brain chemicals released. The focus can be all over the place as the subconscious mind works out problems and scenarios during the dream. So even wet dreams are not all about releasing chemicals there are other things at play as well.

Conclusion

With porn, this absolute control and focus allows porn to become highly addictive. The Limbic System of your brain likes the idea of having something that is predictable. The Limbic System is in charge of keeping you alive. So if it can find a solution to every type of negative event it is going to jump for joy and desire that solution as much as possible. By forming an addiction the Limbic System thinks that it just found the fountain of youth, an event that can cure any type of problem, a panacea (Read: Porn Is Not Your Problem: Brain Chemicals Are).

So as a result of this “panacea” the limbic system will desire porn as a solution to every type of negative event. If you feel tired, it will desire porn. If you are bored, it will desire porn. If you feel lonely, it will desire porn. Anything that can be considered negative could potentially become a trigger for porn. The Limbic System will believe porn to be the evolutionary jack pot and will desire it above all else.

With sex and wet dreams this desire is there but it is not absolute. Because of the lack of guarantees, the Limbic System will desire it but not to the extent of forming an addiction.

However, that is not to say that a sex addiction is not possible. Say if a man were able to create a group of women each willing to have sex at different times. That man could develop an addiction to sex. If the man had absolute control over having sex then sex could quickly become an addiction.

If you are limited to your one partner, then most likely you will never develop an addiction to sex. A strong desire for sex will be present but not an addiction. Again this is because of the Coolidge Effect.

The RAMP Solution to porn addiction uses a Modifying activity (The “M” in RAMP) to break the Limbic System’s cycle. A simple example would be if you are tired and you have a history of having triggers happen when you are tired. The obvious Modifying activity would be to take a nap. So after your nap there is a very good chance that your Limbic System will no longer feel a desire for porn. There still may be a desire, however, the nap will cause the Limbic System to relax and say that the nap was “good enough for now.” Of course minutes later you might start to feel bored and the Limbic System will jump up and start screaming for porn again. At which time you do another Modifying activity that again allows the Limbic system to relax and say “good enough for now.”

After you have gone through enough of these “good enough for now” events the Limbic System will eventually stop desiring porn. This can take around 8 months to accomplish. At which time the Limbic System will know that the rest of the brain will not go along with its demands for porn and that there are other activities that are good enough and do not bring the shame that is felt after a slip.

Get the RAMP solution and start training your Limbic System to desire other things other than porn! www.StopPornToday.com

Comments

  1. infowarrior1 says:

    I haven’t fapped for 18 days and although I have blue balls. There is no indication of wet dreams in sight. I never had a wet dream in my life. If i haven’t had a wet dream in my entire life possibly due to fapping how long before it is possible. I am currently 19.

    • Good question. Results will vary, but my own experience is that it takes a month for your mind to start going to wet dreams as its normal avenue for release.

      Blue balls can be a problem during the transition period. Focusing on sex or looking at porn and not masturbating will give you incredibly painful blue balls. The trick is to refocus your sexual energy to an activity other than sex. Read Sexual Desire: Essential to an Enjoyable Life. Harnessing your sexual energy to something productive will help alleviate the future development of blue balls.

      Hang in there. It is possible that you might have to wait longer because your mind has never lived without porn but the extra effort is worth it. Even not having a wet dream for a while will make you more aggressive in life and with women. Aggressive in an attractive way. There are benefits to being sexually hungry.

      When you get that wet dream, even if you don’t remember the dream. It is cause for celebration. Do something nice for yourself even if it’s cooking a larger than normal meal or just getting a candy bar or whatever. Feel like you just smacked the crap out of a lion and that you are unstoppable.

      Nice 18 days! More importantly than the 18 days is how you got there. Hopefully it is not by sheer force of will but by developing Modifying activities to satisfy the triggers and the TROUBLED feelings.

  2. Cool site man,

    I am a big supporter of going porn free, after 10+ years of multiple daily use. It has been 60 days since i last watched porn and I must say my urges to watch porn seem to be stronger than ever. Sometimes it’s so hard! It’s no wonder you said it takes about 8 months for your limbic system to stop craving porn.

    This is encouraging because right now being bored and on the Internet so I have to physically stop myself from typing in a porn site or thinking about some of my favorite scenes lol. My limbic system clearly is screaming for porn. 8 months seems about right, maybe even longer in my case. I like the idea of doing something else when your limbic system is screaming out, to train it. I never really thought about that, I just fight the urge until it leaves lol. Very difficult.

    I’m starting to see some of the benefits slightly, I had bad withdrawals and still do to a point, my addiction was one of the more intense ones out there, being that I started young and before any contact with girls. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    I will definitely be coming back here when the urges are tough.

    – Sean

    • Sean,

      Sometimes we create this addiction at such a young age that we have no reference to what a porn free life is like. Especially as an adult, having hormones and testosterone and not using it on porn does create a more powerful man. Often we start the addiction at such a young age that we don’t even know what it is like to be man without porn.

      Once you get there the difference is like the difference between a sheep and a lion. Both are animals and both have there place in life but one is docile and reactive, the other is feared and proactive.

      The one thing that worries me is that you said “I just fight the urge until it leaves…” You need to do more than just fight it off. You need to have a Modifying Activity. You need to find out what mood is causing your trigger and do something to have the mood changed. If it is boredom then you need to do something specific for that boredom. And sitting at the internet can quickly lose its excitement so get off the computer and do something. Even if it is walk around the block. Do something different that you don’t do very often and that will spark that curiosity and lose that feeling of boredom.

      Come back often. I’ll be glad to see more of your comments, questions or concerns.

      • I can’t even tell you how much I agree with you here. I developed on porn. I can literally remember the first porn I ever saw as a little child on the spice channel. And then every other instance at friends sleepovers, they are the clearest memories I have! There was such a strong connection straight from the start my brain just lit up.

        So yeah I have never lived porn free, ever. So as I see the withdrawals starting to leave on good days I feel completely different than I ever have. Its such a clear feeling that its almost scary! But I will get used to it and its will get better and more consistent as I abstain and recover.

        I definitely have a lot more recovering to do. I am going to start taking better control of eliminating sexual thoughts and even just straight pictures of hot girls laying around. But I would gauge myself at about 60% recovered. It will likely take me around 6-8 months because of how deep my addiction was.

        And I am going to start exercising more again, based on our discussion on the other post. I know my triggers are boredom, regret, and things like that. But I have developed extremely strong will power and will tell you that its not even a possibility to watch porn again.

        Its good to have someone to reach out to on this issue as you can’t really just talk about it to your friends and family haha. So I appreciate what your doing here and everything you have created!

        I’ll keep you posted on how my recovery goes. Peace out.

        – Sean

  3. Johnny Peaks says:

    Its day one for me. I finally came to the realisation that mastrubating every night before going to bed is effecting my sex life. I have a stunning girlfriend which all my friends are envious off, and I cant be bothered to have sex with her. I’m in my twenties, and I’m very health conscious. I started mastrubating at a very young age and never had a wet dream. I want to get to a stage where i am happy to have sex with my girl friend without thinking twice. I hope everyone can support me in my endevour

  4. Steve Wytyshyn says:

    … Can Jesus make me not gay any more.

Leave a Reply