Wife Caught Me Watching Porn!

Angry woman getting worked up against her husbandWife caught me watching porn!

This can be an awkward situation to say the least. What do you do in that situation? Most likely her reaction will not be a pleasant one. And her being female she will have little to no possibility in understanding the addiction. Or at least in that moment of pure rage she will not be in any type of mind set to understand.  If things get propelled your way just remember to duck and weave, man, duck and weave.

Just be apologetic and if she calms down to something that is manageable, it might be a nice time to talk to her about your problem . . . but only if you have a solution. A very viable solution would be to go to www.StopPornToday.com and get the RAMP solution to Porn Addiction.

Also you should keep in mind that there are basic 3 types of supports and they are:

  • A positive supporter who uses positive reinforcement and avoids negative reinforcement. Is supportive of the addicted person but will not accept anything else than a healed and addictive free brain.

 

  • A negative supporter who does not understand an addiction and does not tolerate slips. Makes threats and uses negative reinforcement at any regression in the addiction. Is skeptical of any advancement and looks at slips as proofs of failure.

 

  • 3 A co-dependent supporter who encourages the addiction and may even participate in the addiction. They may not believe change is possible and would rather not see change happen. They are more scared of change than keeping life the same. They resist any advancement made toward recovery. They knowingly providing opportunity and encourage slips.

 

You can probably predict what kind of supporter your wife would be with some accuracy. However, you never truly know how she will react. So tell her and see. And these are not static descriptions of people. People can change especially as their understanding of the topic increases. So keep in mind your wife may start as a negative supporter and become a positive support as they understand the program you are doing to overcome porn addiction.

 

Not what to do once you know the type of support your have at your side:

 

  • If you have a positive supporter, then great! There is not much you need to do. You will probably want to check in with her and give her updates every so often. Remember, remember and remember the addiction is beat with positive experiences. You build on positive achievements so focus on accomplishments. And ask her to help you make associates between your mood and your actions. Women tend to have a bigger corpus callosum of the brain. This allows them to powerfully combine multiple parts of the brain at the same time. Men have this ability but it does not happen as powerfully as women are generally capable of doing.

 

  • Now if you have a negative supporter and it appears she has no motivation to change, then you probably do not want to include her in your recovery. Recovery is full of set-backs and slips. There is no avoiding it. Could you imagine a child who is trying to learn to ride a bike and every time they fall their parent yells at the child and treats the child in a negative manner. Never mind that the child just skinner their knee and already is physically hurt. Just to be berated emotionally as well. It would be a similar situation with your recovery. A negative supporter is not beneficial and you do not need a support to overcome the addiction. Support is great but not necessary. You created the addiction alone and you can learn to heal your brain on your own as well.

 

  • If your wife is a co-dependent supporter then you should consider that quitting the addiction will be very difficult to achieve. And if you do manage to break free of the addiction, it will cause a significant separation between the two of you. The relationship might not succeed. If you are determined to be porn free then you will need to evaluate if you should keep your current relationship.

 

If you explain to her that you are determined to be porn free. Then the negative experience of being caught can turn to a positive one in her eyes. Relationships can be complicated. When you are able to quit porn for good, it will make you just that much better of a person. And some of those complications will be easier to manage. If you are able to share the experience of overcoming the addiction, it will show you the importance of your relationship and give you a greater appreciation for it.

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